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"Inside My Head"


Chapter 1
The Piddler

By bill darling

I watched him stroll into town, early that night
And by his walk I knew, there was a slight
He piddled on everything, that he could dare
Lamp posts, fences, doors and stairs.

There was something about him, that took my interest
His walk, his widdle, or his sniffing test
But what stood out, was plain to see
That dog sure knew, how to pee.

If I could pass wind, as good as he could pee
I'd have no wind, and I'd be free
But not a sound was muttered, in as so much
Not a sound at all came, from that dogs crutch.

He carried more water than our local fire truck
Could douse a flame, if they got stuck
His aim was accurate, it was known far and wide
And what he did, he did with great pride.

He was the envy of all dogs, of that I have no doubt
How he could stroll, sniff and pee from his spout
And even years later, when he was a bit fickle
He still walked his beat, and peed out his trickle

He left many offspring, to carry on his line
The gene of how to pee, to continue through time
But not one dog could master, what that old dog could do
He died with a secret, that no dog knew

So if you see a dog, try to mark his post
And push out a squirt, at the upper most
He's not from the master, whom I have seen
He's just an impostor, being dirty and unclean.


Chapter 2
Strongman Mine, NZ

By bill darling

19 January, 1967
19 miners died, and went to heaven
Strongman blew apart
10am in the morning of that day
19 miners caught underground,died that way

Greens No 2 was where they were
Caught in an explosion
All caught unaware
But who was to blame
The inquiry wanted to know
Who to pin it on
They wanted to bestow

Many facts came out, there was an enquiry this time
And how they wanted to crucify one Mr Syme
But it pointed to greed, of whom they wouldn't say
And the enquiry concluded " no explanation ", that day

17 miners bodies came home to rest
2 stayed behind, to rest together in peace
It's closed today, a legacy in history
Forever in the realms of hardship, and mystery

Author Notes I visited Strongman mine in about 2012 and felt compelled to write about this disaster. An airy feeling came over me as I wrote on site and I felt I was writing down words that were being said to me from the lost miners. This poem was written in 5 minutes


Chapter 3
The Artiste

By bill darling

The artiste writes his score
And themes his song
Then divulges his secrets from within
And sculptures his art to bring it life
This is where it all begins


Chapter 4
Whare Flat

By bill darling

In this beautiful valley
where dreams have been lost and won
farmers walked off their hard worked land
cos there was nothing more to be done

bad weather blitzed their working place
it just got too hard to toil
sickness came and spirits departed
to live on, but buried in the soil

many years on and this valley has grown
pasture lost to native bush we see
a serenity now falls over this valley
to rest in beautiful harmony

its history now embedded in " Being Prepared "
a motto used in scouting that's true
set aside now for boys and men to learn
life's values, Whare Flat, I salute you

Author Notes Whare Flat is pronounced as Forry Flat, Whare being Moari for house. History has it that due to the storms of snow etc, it made farming very difficult for settlers in early New Zealand. A plague of sickness happened around the turn of the 1900's and many settlers families were wiped out.Native bush has now re-vegetated the valleys and scouting NZ have ownership.Remnants of derelict houses can be found still in certain areas


Chapter 5
A Private Concert

By bill darling

I built a little deck in the back corner of the garden today
amongst a bush clad setting of trees
I sat in my chair and listened to the sounds
of everything around me, from the birds to the bees

A Tui shrills in the setting of some gums
a little fantail flitters and flirts
a cheeky little sparrow whips about
and looks for bits in the dirt

My chair on the deck is in an auditorium of sound
I feel very privileged that they sing for me
they have me spellbound, a captive audience
to think that this is all for free

Dusk is calling as they make their last call
it's time for me to go indoors
they sing their encore for me as I go
it's time now to do their nightly chores

They know I'll be back again to listen to them sing
I'd be a fool to pass them by
who would deny them, who would dare
it's a true blessing, to you and I


Chapter 6
Kids

By bill darling

I started loving you, when I was born
I loved you then and protected you
through the formative years
as I grew

Then you were born
I saw me in you
how I started loving you
when I was born

Now you're older
with kids of your own
in them you will see
the seeds of last generations sown

So you're raising kin
and in future times you can't see
Its what we have, is what we work with
its all about love, and you and me


Chapter 7
Mothers Day

By bill darling

As I often wish upon a star
and often wonder where you are
there was nothing, I could see that was right
when on that day, you gave up the fight

I know that as time moves on, that time will be healing
but still it leaves an empty feeling
so why does it never end, this pain
their is nothing in that emotion, to gain

I often feel the wisp of a breeze
when the day is calm and it quiets the leaves
Is it you I think, by my side I cry
or just the wind, a passing by

I wasn't born with good eyes to see
but I have a depth of hearing in me
so I conclude, it's what I feel
maybe it's what I sense, in me, that is real

So as I gather with others, on Mothers Day
with loving memories to share, and kind words to say
this I know now, so I can be at ease
'cos your'e still here with me, in the whisper, of the breeze


Chapter 8
I'm going to raise you

By bill darling

A little boy reaches out to his daddy
a tear in his eye
his heart is breaking
his daddy reaches back and comforts his boy
and tells him
I'm going to raise you

I'll raise you good
we'll see it through
we are very close
and you wont lose me
son of mine
I'm going to raise you
son of mine
I promise, I'm going to raise you

Author Notes The need of a father to raise his son properly to the best of his ability even though separated from his wife. He wants to be involved in his sons life and to reassure him


Chapter 9
Sounds of life

By bill darling

Sit still, and listen to the sound
then tell me what you hear
some will say nothing, others many things
can you hear the love, I have for you , my dear

A glass of wine, a pint of cool beer
simple pleasures, yet so great
basic needs, nothing overdone
nothing to scorn, or berate

And we'll go sailing through stormy weather
pushing against an ebbing tide
fishing from a river bank
casting our net far and wide

If we knew how to push the right buttons
if our vote stood for anything worthwhile
if all of us were gainfully employed
it sure would broaden our smile

but now lets return to the opening line
the question of what you can hear
listen to how I feel sweet pea
it's the sound of love, I have for you, my dear


Chapter 10
Words

By bill darling

Five words we ask, living our lives
how,what, when, where and why
how did it happen
what is ahead
when will we know,
and
where does it go
why, we ask as we tackle all five
if we knew all the above
we'd know, the meaning of life


Chapter 11
The thoughts of a little silly Billy

By bill darling

Should you think I'm a little silly Billy
ponder these thoughts that I say and, don't dilly
whose authority do we have, to say whats right or wrong
what we make up,as we go along

If you left the world to me to change its spite
would you tell me, I was doing it right
to fill all lives with love and peace
it would befall countries, or governments at least

Our lives would flourish and begin the perception
to discount disharmony, rascism, greed and deception
and stamp out hatred and misconception
to bring about honour, trust and wellbeing
and consider the viewpoint that others are seeing
to learn to tolerate, without the friction
of who is right, or wrong, in contradiction

But if love shone, and twinkled as a star
and brightened our days both near and far
maybe then, we could develop, as a race
and cast aside, our destructive pace

If we had left the apple, on the tree of knowledge
and not stirred up that cauldron of porridge
we would live in a world, as it was intended to be
of love, peace, happiness, and perfect harmony

So mums and dads would say " there's a future ahead for you my pet "
but we'll leave that for tomorrow
'cause you're not born yet

So when we're born and in twenty years we meet
fall in love and marry, a new life to greet
with all the prospects ahead to begin
of all the twirl,the whirl, and the whim

So can someone tell me whats right and wrong
and tell me, how to sing my song
or is it, that just no-one knows
its gatherted up in the wind, to blow and sow

The seed is then scattered here and there
in gravel and rocks and God knows were
but were it planted, in fertile land
would we have the meaning of life, in our hands

As we look to what God for us created
who gave it to us, as he stated
we changed its course, and obliterated
a world of harmony and love, to hurt and hatred

So let the thoughts of this little silly Billy
be pondered upon, tho' not willy nilly
our love faith hope, and charity, surely don't need clarity
but as an ideal, aren't that silly


Chapter 12
Hell Found Me

By bill darling

Hell found me mum,as I write this letter to you
I tried to be strong dad,I tried to be brave and true
we landed here at Gallipolii
and fought hard, to conquer the Turk
It turned out to be a bloody massacre, dad
we knew, we had all been had

We landed here April 25,1915
as ordered by our warlords at hand
to take Gallipolii, at all costs
and drive the Turks back, inland

We landed on the beach, a Cove
a bloody fight ensued
to be out gunned and out manoeuvred
shot to bits,murdered and slewed

Some mates around me perished mum
others were hurt and maimed
some didn't handle it well dad
It drove a lot of them insane

I can still hear their cries of pain
a lot were very young, with such zeal
I heard some call out " I want my mum "
their suffering and pain, I could feel

I'd love to be back on the farm now mum
with you and dad, the dogs and young Troy
but Hell found me, before Heaven did
It made a man, out of an eighteen year old boy

They called me a hero, dad
but I was only trying to stay alive
I out gunned a turkish post, dad
I saw them alive, and then die

The medal they gave me dad, was for valour, so they said
but my heart in my chest denied the fame
and when no-one was looking dad
I buried it, in that graveyard, of shame

I should be home soon, dad and mum
I will look like I'm unhurt, you will see
but my mind and my soul, have been left numb
the day, that Hell found me


Author Notes This is about our ANZAC troops that fought a bloody, futile battle against the Turks at Galipoli in WW1 where huge losses were incurred to the New Zealanders and Australians through a huge military blunder by Generals who should have known better. ANZAC stands for Australian New Zealand Army Corp and is celebrated here as ANZAC weekend, yearly, on 25 April. This is very important to us " LEST WE FORGET "


Chapter 13
Granddad Bill

By bill darling

Here lies some ones Granddad,his name is old Bill Clark
A wild bugger of a man, way back then, is what it says to me
When he kicked your bum, his foot measured from there to your tongue
He could launch you over a tree

Author Notes Someone's fond memories of a wild man, whose discipline in those days was normal for the time


Chapter 14
There were evil forces at work

By bill darling

Both sides who fought, loved their God
all would pray for their safe return home
the Angels of Light came to protect them
but there were evil forces at work

They fought hard and long and didn't want to kill
the enemy would have felt this way too
but driven by the spirit of King and Country
they did their country proud
but there were evil forces at work

To all, they were told often
you are fighting for freedom and peace
in anothers land, I suppose they were
still, they had this at home, before they left
but there were evil forces at work

So, was it our fight to do this ?
did our men have to die ?
did we learn anything from this ?
If not, then what's the reason why ?
but there were evil forces at work

Mothers, fathers, losing sons
children losing their dads
countries losing fine young men
yes, there were, evil forces at work



Chapter 15
Anons Lament

By bill darling

Anon admires you, as a loving woman
the beauty of your mind, body, and soul
I would love you forever, this you would see
if you would, only consider,me

If I asked you to be, my forever wife
I know we would have a good life
but being loathe to mention, just who I am
delays the slaughter of this vulnerable, lamb

Others will see you, not as I do
I love you from both near, and afar
If you rejected me, It would leave me, inane
this is why, Anon, can't tell you, his name


Chapter 16
How?

By bill darling

How can I be me
when I want to love and yet feel unloved
to be white when I'm clearly faded
just to be me, how can that be


Chapter 17
my love

By bill darling

When I first met you, so many years ago
I thought
Wow, what a beautiful woman!

When I look at you now, today
I still think the same

Author Notes The vision of the soul doesn't change with age, only what the eyes may see and the brain interprets as its perception forces change


Chapter 18
Where is it

By bill darling

If love is in the air,
as it is often said
why does it blow coldly past me
like that of an old spinsters breath

If it chose to stop by me
and give me the warmth of its feeling
to hold me to its breast in feeding
sharing peace,love and well-being


Author Notes All children have the right to be loved openly without malice, without fear and with their parent/s,family or caregiver. A basic human right is our responsibility to our children


Chapter 19
A Helping Hand

By bill darling

I can see that something is bothering you
you no longer have that zest and sparkle
your eyes look dead and vacant
whats troubling your soul ?


Chapter 20
Cutlery Sandwhich

By bill darling

I,ve felt the knives that dig so deep into my spine
i,ve been forked over many,many times
i,ve seen far too many spoons that i know will never shine
i,ve seen a work force of idiots in my time

If the table at first was properly set
and everything was put in its place
if we had manners, goodwill, trust and respect
then,maybe then, we could overcome the idiots that work in our space

Be humble be sincere and also be kind
know who you are and know your mind
be knowledgable and loyal and intelligent too
but most of all , to you be true

I,m sure you have met those in the work force i call gits
those backstabbers,shafters and spoon fed twits
those Centipedes called men,those women called a bitch
dont vex your soul to those who eat of the Cutlery Sandwhich






Author Notes some people just have to screw you over to believe they are better than others, just my thoughts, my observations


Chapter 21
then and now

By bill darling

I have seen and felt the dreams of youth
and I have seen them fade away
into conformity, into what I have become
obscure, a nothingness, de-void of play.

Yet how can I return to those bright years
when I put the world to right with less fear
but alas, I,m an old man now it shall be
content with memories, of what it means to be me.

Youth of today will taunt with rebellion
and parents will be confused by their song
but we have changed and blow gently with the wind
I,ve been there, perhaps you have too, but today, its where I now belong



Chapter 22
rejection

By bill darling

I held my hand out as a greeting
only to have it ignored
by some one I raised that wasn't mine
to be left standing alone and flawed

It had been twelve years since his mother left me
it had been that long since I seen him
he sure made his point of where he stands
of that I have no doubt or whim

I got him his first job and his first car
I gave him good advice and direction
so why was I shunned, my handshake denied
I can only surmise with discretion

I guess that's just the way it goes
that life can serve up a short one
but I know who and what I am
and good manners fall short on some


Author Notes life is full of the unexpected


Chapter 23
The Mark

By bill darling

I once drew a line in the sand
and noted that line as the mark
but I crossed it several times, I have
my life is lived now in the dark

I can look back and wish change
would it make a difference, I don't know
would I do the same again, on a second chance
and change the seeds I sow ?




Chapter 24
In Dreams

By bill darling

We had a dream you and I
it included all eight of us
but it died along with a broken heart
when we went our separate ways

We had a dream you and I
yes, we had a dream

Author Notes not all is what it seems


Chapter 25
One Word

By bill darling

What word would you use to end a relationship
and what word would you use to start another
is this word the same , you may deny
but I bet they both start with, i !


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