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"I am going to be a Texas Ranger"


Chapter 1
Little Texas Ranger

By Niyuta

Andres waited for his father's police cruiser to arrive. That was his routine for every night since he was a 3 year old toddler. As soon as he would hear that engine sound which was registered not in his brain but in his psyche, he would make a ruckus, " Papa is here, Papa is here until his Step Mother came out of the kitchen, put her hand on his mouth and then took him to greet her husband. He did that exercise right until he started to go to a kindergarten. This is his story.

Andres loved his father; the only parent he knew in flesh as his very own. Andres never had a chance to remember the touch, kisses or the tight hugs of his mother; she was killed just months after his birth. Marissa was his stepmother and although he loved her too, it was not the same love he had for his dad. He loved her perhaps like one would love his or her Nanny who diligently and efficiently provide everything a mother would, except those special touches, kisses, hugs and caresses which only a mother can give, a child can receive and remember rest of its life.

Andres was a naturally very well behaved individual. He did not miss his mother because he was just few month short of his first birthday when she took a bullet in her heart that was meant for her husband, 'Señor Menendez' as people called him. For the little boy, he was his Papa and his whole world revolved around him. There was a special pride in his heart for Papa because he was a Police officer with fifteen years of distinguished service in the special anti-narcotic traffic department of Mexican Border Police. Andres would put on his dad's hat and play policeman with his toy gun and hide behind his toy box and shoot the bad guys " I'm gone be a Policia Mama" he would say to his stepmother. She would reply,
" por qué (why)? You're Papa no want you be Policia" she would try to discourage him. He would then get angry at her and make faces and lock himself in the room until Papa arrived and then complain to him that she tells a lie "you don't want me be Policia she says; is it not true no; papa?" No Nino she no lie, I want you be a Texas Ranger not the Mexico Policia, now go to bed" he would tell him with a hug and kiss on his forehead, while tucking him in the bed,, shutting the light, and ensure his windows were shut tight and secured. Only after that routine he would return to kitchen to eat his supper. Marissa was younger than him by at least fifteen years. He had married her right after the loss of his wife when Andres was a baby and since then they had lived as a man and wife.

There was a unique and close relationship between them which on the surface looked like that of a married couple but in reality; it was more like a business arrangement; like a master and his house keeper with all rights of a husband. He found Marissa working on a farm in the central part of Mexico, in a rural county where he had gone to investigate a drug related killing of a farmer and his family. He had stopped at a shop to buy some provisions and also to get some information because the storekeeper was his informer. She walked in on them and their eyes met. She had a course top and a flared skirt which did justice to her shapely buttocks and narrow waist and elevated firm breasts which attracted male attention more quickly to her torso, ignoring the intelligent face with beautiful dark eyes, smooth, matching hair. Even though her face appeared rather plain to casual onlooker, there was a hint of Spanish pedigree indicated by her sloping shoulders, longer neck than most native women, clear almond shaped eyes and those long, eyelashes. The slightly pinched and bit longer nose indicated perhaps native Indian blood also. He quickly measured her as the policemen are trained to do so to make note of the body and facial features of all the folks they run into.

He liked what he saw in spite of her earthly, plain appearance. Perhaps it was an instinct a man harboring a dormant thought about bringing a second wife for his motherless child drove him to act. May be the unexplainable and instant rise of desires for her youthful body prompted him to take a second look at her and maybe, there was still a spark of passion smoldering in his bosom, which for all practical purpose appeared to have been completely extinguished by the loss of his beloved wife. Meeting of their eyes now had suddenly brought that desire to life, like a candle spluttering due to lack of oxygen in a cave, comes alive when some opening in the walls sends a gush of fresh air. Looking at her youthful and seductive body his loin got hot. Carlos Menendez was a gentleman and a professional police officer. He politely moved away from the storefront and made courtesy gesture which was so foreign to that farm girl that she gasped, instead of acknowledging and returning it.

She ordered some tobacco and can of beans then her eyes fell on a beautiful hat on the rack with flowers and other fanciful things on it. She impulsively reached for it and was about to put it on her head when the shopkeeper, stopped her by saying; my dear it is of no use to you on the farm; it is more than your weeks wages also. She pulled her hand back and started to apologies when Carlos who was near the stand reached for it and placed it on her head and said "don't worry Mario, I will pay for it, let her have it and put it on my bill".
She was delighted and at the same time was nervous; because the impulsive desire part was resolved for her but the other question, 'where was she going to wear it' was the real kicker. In the practical sense, she had no place to even store it. She protested it by saying:
" No Señor Policia, Mucho gracias pero ¿dónde lo puedo usar" (No Mr. Police, many thanks, but where can I use it?)", and then she left with the provisions .
Carlos was pleased because that farm girl did not sound like a village raised cowhand; she appeared to be from a city; sort of an implant. He turned around and asked the shopkeeper if he knew anything about her and where she lived. He did know, and he gave him her name, address and told him that she was an orphan from Veracruz. Carlos purchased the hat and made his way to her maternal uncle's Casa. Seeing a man in uniform approaching his shack scared the hell out of the old Man.
Poor always have fear of authority, because anyone with power can come and take away what so ever little they possess or drag their women and there would be no one, not even their Gods could stop that. He automatically assumed that his unwanted nice from the city with her voluptuous body and sexy walk, has attracted troubles and he yelled at her:
"Ve, corre desde la puerta de atrás y escóndete en el pajar, un policía viene." --(" go, run from the back door and hide in the haystack, a police man is coming").
She peeped from the window and responded to him:
Está bien tío, él es un caballero; viene a hablar de mí". (That is alright uncle, he is a gentleman; he is coming to talk to you about me)".
Hearing the calm word and self-assurance in her answer, that cunning old man guessed that there must have been some interaction between the two when she went to get provisions and saw the opportunity to wash his hands off her and making some dough in the bargain. Ever since she arrived at his casa, there was no shortage of young bucks knocking on his door from the villages. However, she rejected them vehemently. In any case there was no profit in the sale, except few bucks for the local brew as the suitors were not weighting the offer with enough Pesos for him to buy few goats. There was no rush; she was feeding him regularly and was putting up with his foul smell and snoring. There wasn't much he could do except waiting for a better luck and now, he saw his gamble paying the dividends.
He straightened himself and lit a cheroot he had rolled from the cheap tobacco she had purchased and brought upon his face a look, which fell between being nonchalant and anxious at the same time and waited for the man to come to him and of course, he had noticed the fancy hat in the hands of approaching man. Now, that poor helpless man had sensed that he, for once had an angle. He would be in control of the negotiation and may dare to dictate terms to a powerful man; at least he could try.
It is indeed a paradox. On one hand there are poor people worthy of compassion and charity but then same helpless and weak can become demanding, atrocious and as crueler as those oppressed them when they get the power in their hands. It happened in the French and Bolshevik revolutions. Well, in the present situation, it was not as historical an event as those two scenarios but the old farmer was empowered by the thought that as a senior relation, a guardian and care taker of his nice, Marissa, he had the authority to decide who she goes with and also a right to make some profit out of it.-If the man wants her so badly as to buy her a fancy hat, which he knew was not a gift for him, then he would be open to the price negotiations in earnest-. He grinned with his toothless mouth preparing himself for a prolonged battle of the wits.

When Carlo arrived at his door; old man acted as if he needed something from inside his Casa and started to go in when Carlos addressed him: "¿Puedo hablar con usted Señor?" -("Can I speak with you Sir?")

Old man had no choice but to turn around and pretend to see who it was. Sensing it was a Police Captain standing in front of him, and the natural fears taking hold of him, he replied:

"¿Cómo está el capitán? Por favor, com pulgadas, mi casa es tu casa". "Gracias Señor," -("How's the captain? ("Please, come in, my house is your House". "Thank you Lord.").

"Let me not waste your time; I want to come to the point; I want your nice" said the Capitan without mincing the words.

Old man took his time to sit down on a chair and gathered his courage, took a deep breath and after few minutes spoke in a subdued voice:

"Ella es demasiado joven para ti. Parece que estás en los años cuarenta y es sólo dieciocho". -- ( " She is too young to for you. You look like you are in forties and she is just eighteen).

He stopped for a moment to see the reaction on Carlos face and found none, he continued with his planned dialogue:
"I would have to work hard to convince her that you are the right person for her; she has many younger suitors in the village you know and one is coming back third time to take her out; I will have hard time stopping these buckaroos".

Carlos had dealt with many petty traders and he saw old man's angle right away.
He said, "OK then, maybe I wasted my time. Good luck to you with the buckaroo deal".

As he started to walk away, old man sensed that he was not only nowhere near being in control of the negotiations, but was about to lose that chance of unloading his nice on someone with good prospects of getting few Pesos every now and then in the future. He jumped up and said:

"cinco cabras y quinientos pesos y ella es tuyo". --(" five goats and five hundred Peso and she is yours").

Carlos with disgust on his face turned around and said:
"Quiero a una mujer, no un stock vivo para vender en la ciudad de México viejo". -(" I want a wife, not a live stock for selling in Mexico City old man"). He began his slow retreat down the path.

Before the old man make more fool of himself and annoying the Captain, Marissa came out and said:

"Acepto su propuesta; Me casaré contigo en la iglesia es decir, cuando esté listo. Dame el sombrero; Lo llevaré para mi vestido de novia." --( "I accept your proposal; I will marry you in the church though; that is, whenever you are ready. Let me have the hat; I will wear it for my bridal outfit").

They got married in the local church and Carlos gave her uncle two goats and two hundred peso as a gift. After that their relationship grew slowly and steadily. She had no expectations of him because she had not known how to have expectations from life. To her and many like her, all over the world had only few expectations from the society in which love, romance and individual's rights had no places because no one had ever told them that these things exist in the human society. All they had learn in that school of experiences where fees are astronomically high, was this: ' one must do anything and everything to survive and seek higher grounds; not by assaulting the bastions of society, but by crawling slowly; inch by inch and grabbing anything that reasonably looks like a strong hold; one that can pull you up to the next level and there by putting some distance between self and the poverty, miseries and the tyrannies of social structures.

In this, Mexican women are not alone; there are such women all over the world from the ghettos of Brazil and India to the most of the third and fourth worlds. It looks like the condemnation of Eve by the God of the Genesis seems to be taking place all over the world in form of atrocities committed every second; as if it is a self-fulfilling prophesy but then fate can in its whim, bring the relief and even good times and that's what happened to Marissa.
Carlos saved her from the flesh trade in which she would have been a valuable commodity to some mafia lord in Guadalupe. She had the urban exposure in Veracruz and had sufficient exposure to the English Speaking people and had a young body that could evoke passion in males like it does in a male Elephant when a female comes into estrogen. After her marriage, she did not disappoint her husband. She served both the father and son with devotion and skills of a born manager.

Carlos relationship with his wife grew out of association rather than passion. In the beginning they made love regularly. It satisfied their physical necessities. Both did not have the emotional needs of loving or intimately belonging to each other. He had the memories if Rosaline; who gave him handsome son and departed and Marissa grew up with not affording the luxury of love or intimacy most of us take it for granted. They were satisfied by the practical arrangements. She got safety, material comforts, kindness and she delivered to him what he wanted; a loving and nurturing home environment where his son could grow up and occasional pleasure of body, companionship and advice.
After his wife's killing, Captain Menendez went after the drug mafia with vengeance in his heart. He spared nothing and no one. He tortured petty smugglers and the suspected villagers with equal ferocity as he did the key players of this vicious game of drugs and flesh trade that had been flourishing for the past two hundred years unabated.
As long as flesh and drugs were coming from the south of the boarder and import and distribution was left in the hands of Families from Chicago, New York and LA with ties to Sicilian Mafioso with Names like Genovese, Getty and Gambino, to mention few, the North of the boarder law enforcement looked the other way. In fact, a Mexican regardless of which side of the border he or she was born or how long had lived in the US, was perceived as a potential criminal by the American population in general and Law Enforcement agencies in particular.
It was automatically assumed that presence of a Latino male or female hanging out on the street corners in a White Neighborhood, was for the sole purpose of engaging in crimes ranging from burglary to homicide. If the person was a young man then he was assumed to be a petty thief or a Pimp engaged in the human trafficking for the West-side bordello. If it was a young woman then she was assumed to be a streetwalker.Policemen stopped them, questioned them and even searched them without the warrants. No one complained and the 'Latinos', as they were called for separating them from the European immigrants of Spain, took the abuse in stride and were moving on quietly to cities and towns. They were taking the tough jobs, which no Whites or other minorities were willing to take like fruit and vegetable picking from the farmlands and Meat Packing from the Slaughter Houses. Their wages were very low and labor was back breaking. However it was lot better than being in the land of their births; here was hope that in the US, if not themselves, their children had a brighter future because they were getting free education and that too in English and healthcare that did not exist at home and no one would take their children in the servitude of the drug lords. They were in most part safe here.

The trade between the two countries significantly kept Mexican state loaded with the US Dollars and also kept the American Gun business booming. What was there to be concerned about few unimportant and expandable labor class Mexican's sufferings? As long as so many politicians and businessmen were happy, prosperous and were able to pump money in the Catholic Churches which provided solace and even material help to poor Mexicans, there was no conflict of conscience for the Mexican elites. The Mexican State was marching on to become a playground of the usual, "Rich and Famous" Category and state was claiming that they were progressing. Then there was the Second Great War raging in Europe and Mexican could always go on the front if they chose to improve their stock while they were in the US by simply recruiting in the US Army and many who had learn enough English to read and write and understand commands did just that.

On the Andres side, his father knew he was fighting a losing battle in which the enemy on his side was, the drug cartel made up of his own native people and he also knew that there was a bullet with his name written on it and then he also feared his son's life because he had received threat of kidnapping and a violent death to his only son; a replica of his childhood sweetheart and Andres' mother. It was a decision he had to make which was not easy. Carlos, Philippe Menendez came from a distinguish family who served Mexico gallantly. His grandfather was a general in the imperial Army and his father served in the Mexican police as Inspector General. It was a hard decision to abandon his beloved Mexico and to move to the Gringo country where he will be nothing but a Chicano as the derogatory term then was used to describe folks from the south of the borders. He thought of all the possibilities. He couldn't trust his superiors because they were on the take from drug lords and his subordinates were mortally afraid of consequences they faced for opposing the free trade of drug- flesh trafficking which in one sense was benefiting their motherland as any other export of commodities do.

The Nineteen Sixties were rolling on and one after another conflicts, in which the US was fighting, were erupting and with that, lots of upheavals and loosening of moral values was happening in the US. The soldiers returning from the South East Asia were coming with a strong dependency on illegal drugs and that was driving the demand in the market, higher and higher as the years rolled. A booming industry was springing up all over the South and Central America with Mexico being the trading post on the border.

Carlos would battle with his conscience all the time. He would then share his troubled conscience with his wise and trusted friend; his wife. She never held back anything to which she felt she had the understanding of and had the solution for the problem her respected husband was facing. Carlos trusted her instincts and even judgment. She had seen and experienced so much of the wild and unpredictable world of poverty, atrocities and survival, that her instincts were highly attuned to the slightest changes in her environments like that of Thompson Guzzles on the Serengeti plains of Africa. It appears that nature seems to be taking care of its weakest elements by providing them those natural instincts which tells them when to fight or flee.

As it happened that in one encounter with the drug cartel's protection force, Carlos and his men gunned down a major drug king pin that had direct relationship with one of the powerful officials of Mexican government. Soon after that his immediate boss asked him to take another assignment in the top secrecy as another Mafia was entering the realm of the one Carlos group had encountered and killed. It was a bogus tip, a setup and a sure trap; which was actually set up for Carlos but his trusted young lieutenant, eager to prove his mettle had asked to lead the team and had gone instead. The scary thing about that raid was that his own boss had brought the tip and no one else knew anything about it. Hearing this from her husband, Marissa sensed that not only him but she and Andres were also in a mortal danger. She said to him:
"It is the time we must move on to the USA if we want to see our son's wedding and grandchildren" He accepted her analysis and started planning the move.

Captain Carlos Menendez was well known to the US border police on the Tijuana border of California because many times he had crossed the border to handover information on the American drug carrier pigeons and they had a healthy respect for him and the work he was doing to stop the drug traffic. He felt that his friend in the San Diego who was half Mexican, working for the border police would help him to cross over and may even get a job in the region training the border patrols to learn the techniques the Jackals used and where their staging operations were located. He also had another asset to trade and that he thought would be of interest to FBI and that asset was the list of corrupt Mexican Police and their counter parts serving on the US agencies who were tipping off the drug runners. He also had the details of bribes given to them and several spools of wire taped conversations. In return he wanted a safe haven somewhere in the USA for his family, good schooling in a Catholic Private Institution, and provision for college education.

Next day, he proceeded to Tijuana and from there to San Diego. Inspector Peter Cochran was actually a Custom Agent who worked with the Border Police. When they met at his farm house north of the city, Carlos revealed to him his situation:
"They could wipe me out with my family; you must help me to get us to safety as soon as possible". He did not tell him about the 'assets' he had because he was not sure if he could trust Peter completely, besides that, he wanted to keep it as a bargaining chip in case he gets caught for over staying his Visa and faced deportation. Peter was non-committal.

" I am not sure how I could help you; let me think it over and consult with my trusted people" he said.
" There is not much time my friend; my child's life is on line; he is only twelve " Carlos Pleaded ".
" OK; I will give you answer tomorrow morning and now you sleep here and I will be back tomorrow with answer. I promise" Peter then left.

Carlos sat in that cottage staring at a photo copy of "The Last Supper". He stayed motionless for quite some time as if he was studying the original and his eyes were pinned at one face. Suddenly he jumped up as if a flash of light came through the picture and penetrated his cerebral cortex.

"Judas Iscariot! Oh my God, Santa Maria; how I did not see it? How could Peter own this farm house on Inspector's salary? Carlos asked the questions to himself. They will be here in any minute; I must get out now." He grabbed his overnight bag and slipped out of back door into darkness.

"What a fool I am; trusting someone I just know professionally." He reproached himself. He had left his car at Peter's home in San Diego and that was more than fifty miles and it would be risky to retrieve it now. He just kept on going north and walked all night. He must have traveled many miles without stopping until sliver of crimson light began streaming on the horizon and birds started chirping. On that cross road junction, he saw lights coming on in a store with Gas Pumps. He walked to that place and noticed a public phone hanging off the cradle. He picked the receiver and put it to his ear. There was a dial tone. He pulled his pocket diary and found a number. He put a call through.
" It was ringing and ringing and Carlos was about to hang up then a sleepy voice crackled," Who is this? Do you know what time....."
"Miguel this is Uncle Carlos Menendez, wake up, I am in trouble; I need you right now" Carlo's voice over rode Miguel's.
"Where are you Uncle?" Miguel asked.

Carlos gave him the description of the place and instructed him that he was walking on the road towards north and not to delay or make inquiry but to come immediately. Miguel picked him in an hour. They drove straight to a Motel. Miguel knew the Janitor and he gave him a room key at the back. Without giving him too much information, he told his nephew that he could not go back nor seek help from the US agencies. Miguel was about thirty, bit toll for a Mexican and with an athletic built. His personality was charming and somewhat on the border of being very smart and cunning. He had been living in the San Diego region for the past ten years and had established himself as an Independent Short Distance Trucker. He knew all sorts of people; some very good and others not so good but he instinctively stayed away from the Bad and Ugly folks playing the corridors of corruption.

After listening to his Uncle's description of what had befallen on him he suggested that Carlos should head for Montana and he had a friend who could take care of him and meanwhile he would go across the boarder and bring rest of the family to US. Carlos agreed to that plan and within few hours, Carlos was on a north east going truck and Miguel headed for the Mexican border.
Miguel was driving towards his destination and his mind was giving him the flash backs of his uncle's wedding. The first time he saw Marissa was just the night before the wedding day. He was not familiar with the place and like his uncle; he was directed to go to the post office which was part of the store where all that drama had taken place that had brought him there. Well, only thing the man could tell about his uncle's residence was the address of his aunt to be. He arrived at the location and found her alone because her old uncle with his gift of two hundred Peso was the richest man around and was partying with fellow Cow Pokes, celebrating the sale of his unwanted nice to a old fool for a Thousand Peso and lot more goats than he actually received.

When he knocked at her door, as usual she went up on the attic and observed who it was. When she saw him with all his urban looks and fancy clothing, she was at once attracted to him. Just as a precaution, she asked:
"¿Quién es y qué quiere?" (Who is it and what do you want?)
He responded: " Yo soy Miguel. ¿Dónde se queda Carlos? " ("I'm Miguel. Where is Carlos?")
"He not here; he live in village" she spoke in English to impress him with the fact that she was not a peasant woman.
It was getting dark and he wasn't sure where the village was. He asked her, Can you give me directions?"

She responded, " Yes, not easy find in night, go in the morning "
She pulled her blouse lower, tidied her face and went down to open the door. He came in and was at once struck by her youthful beauty. She was perhaps same age as he was then. He couldn't take his eyes off her bosom and those curling lips but then, he was there for his uncle's wedding. She asked him if he wanted a drink. He responded that he had brought a bottle with him. She cooked a special dinner for him with Pork and Beans and other special items which actually were for the feast after the marriage when Padre was to visit them for his usual collection, drink and supper.

He liked her presence around him and she aroused him by walking by him in that sensual hip swinging way and dropping things to bend and pick it when he was watching her. With that game play, Miguel forgot why he was there in the first place. She knew her own uncle probably was sleeping in some harlot's shack and was not returning until someone goes and drags him out to church to give the bride away. As she was working on Miguel she was also reasoning with her own conscience. I am not a married woman so I am not committing any adultry; I have the right to have one night with someone who I should have had for a husband and would have fulfilled all my heart's desires. Tomorrow I will be married to an old man to escape poverty and miseries which were dished out to me by fate. Why can I not get what I really want just for a night? Then she prayed and asked Santa Maria to forgive her if she was going to sin because desires made her flesh weak and opportunities do not come every day. With that thought she decided to seduce him.

On his part, he had no scruples about the lusty thoughts he was carrying in his heart. The passion was raging in his bosom and flesh was demanding quenching that thirst. He had already forgotten why he had come there. He was also justifying his desire for that teaser, hot babe and felt that his uncle had no rights on this young and voluptuous body which he thought his uncle had purchased and that is he considered as exploitation of the poor by powerful and rich men. With that mindset, he started to plan how he was going to get her to come to bed. In any case she wouldn't be a virgin he thought and even if she was, his uncle would likely to have problem penetrating her and with that mischievous thought of doing a favor to his uncle, he pushed aside any other thoughts of betraying him and was getting ready to make a move.

It was after their drinking and dinner; he asked her where he could retire. She pointed to him her uncle's room. When he entered, he could not bear the smell associated with the old age and to add that, there was that odor hanging around from the old man's countless cheroot smoking. He turned around and went back to her room. The door was closed but not locked. He tapped on the door and she said, " It's not lock; come in ".

As he entered, he found her standing there without a stitch. He did not waste time and they made love all night. Her passion engulfed him and his skillful lovemaking thrilled her and fueled the passion she never knew she was capable of having. In the morning when with great reluctance they pulled themselves apart from the embrace; they knew that they loved each other and yet there was no way they could remain united as it happens in the harlequin romances. She in her practical way knew her destiny was with the wealthy policeman who had a home of his own and the handsome devil she loved so much was not about to offer a marriage she desperately needed. Life's lesson she remembered was simple; the romantic love does not fill the hunger of human belly but use of woman's body does put food on the plate if it comes to starvation. Here a new and bright future was waiting for her walking next to Carlos; she wasn't going to jeopardize that chance and she got Miguel out of her hut and her mind as soon as the rooster heralded the rising sun.

Both had lived in a practical world most humans live in, where compromising is the rule for survival and 'do not carry emotional baggage', is the order of the day. Miguel could not support her and she could not afford to let go that one opportunity came her way to be a respected Mrs. Menendez; wife of a decorated Police officer with the Aristocratic pedigree. They both understood life as was dished out to them. In spite of that, he whispered in her ears as he left:

" Cuídate, Marissa."- ("Take care of yourself, Marissa.").

She responded: " Te amo demasiado Miguel". ("I love you too much Miguel")

Love and passion are not essential commodities in this equation of survival of the species and procreation has always depended on the mating between the strongest and fittest male and the youngest and healthiest of the females; a cross over from the animal gens to ours. When situation arises, a mature young woman will select stability and comforts in which she can raise her progeny successfully, over the romantic running away with most attractive male without the means of supporting her or her babies; of course this is rule and there are exceptions.

Both got ready for the church, said "adios". They moved on as if that night was a dream. He went ahead of her and met his uncle outside the Church.

The first question the uncle asked to his only nephew was:

"Where were you last night? I was hoping you would come and in the evening and we could celebrate".
"Oh, I forgot my passport and had to go back to San Diego and in any case I did not know where to find you. Good thing that I came this morning or else, I would have been searching for a motel and I bet there are none in this Godforsaken village" he said ".

"Never mind, I am glad you came." We should be on our way by tomorrow and you can stay with us or return home; it is up to you." said Carlos.
The wedding went off flawlessly and they headed for home. After that evening they never saw each other and knowing the nature of a one night stand very well he just moved on with his Trucking business and forgot her. Now she was coming back in his life again under different circumstances.
As the destination came closer, Miguel's mind was racing ahead of his truck. He was thinking about the forthcoming encounter with Marissa; now his aunt.

" I don't know how I am going to do this" he said to himself. It had been three years since they set their eyes on each other and he had put her aside like the Sombrero in the attic. However, in his unconscious mind, he had her image fixed from that evening when she stood in front of him. Perhaps in reality, he never got rid of it and may be that is the reason he had not found a woman who could have built a homestead for him where he would have raised children of his own. He decided to play by the ear and not expect anything or do stupid mistake; their lives depended on his successful return.

" let it happen as it did that night", his heart wished.
"Tonight is a different night, " his conscience reminded him.
"Get them out as soon as you can or get killed along with them" came the warning.

When he reached to their place it was about eleven o'clock and street lamps were dimmed by the pollution like a foggy night of winter. He pulled his truck in front of their villa and watched for anyone hanging around and then took a parcel out as if he was making a late delivery. When he rang the bell, Marissa was waiting for him. Carlos had managed to get someone to call her and appraised the situation Carlos was in.
"Do not take anything; not even a suitcase except cash and gold", he told her. Let Nino sleep and make them carry him out as if he is a laundry basket" and use your imagination; I trust your instincts and do what is appropriate" he had told her. She had worked out a plan.

"If Carlo is right then getting out at night would be suicidal, they would be watching all roads", she thought. "It will be safe if we go about our ways in the normal fashion where I go shopping and Andres goes to school as usual and I pick him up from the midday recesses and not return home. Anyone keeping eye on the house will never know we have left the country"; she calculated the odds and planned the move.

There was this problem though; how to handle presence of Miguel in her home. Her relationship with Carlos was beyond reproach. He not only treated her with kindness but also gave her the respect of a competent better half and in fact it was he who gave her the confidence and self-worth by acknowledging and praising her contribution to the well-being of his household and particularly the upbringing of his son. He was happy and doing well in the school.

She never made an attempt to be Andres Mother, but did everything for him to gain his respect and love. A practical woman as she was, she understood that her interest would be well served by taking care of the most valued entity her husband had and that was his son, Andres. As the time passed she served them both very well. To the child, she created a loving but unattached mother person and to the man, she was available as a wife doing all the duties a wife supposed to perform and those included, supporting her husband in his endeavors and the tasks of bringing the bacon home, providing comforts and security. In doing that, it did not involve passion or fantasies of carnal nature; only satisfying the physical needs of their bodies. Nothing was lost and much was gained by all three souls orbiting in the universe of their lives.

That night she faced a dilemma; man she loved momentarily and poured all her youthful passions on with a belief that it was the first and the last encounter she would have with him, in fact had reappeared on her door steps as unexpectedly as he had done on that fateful night; the last night of her total surrender to her physical, emotional and psychological needs, which her heart had dared to wish. Indeed, it was an "everlasting" event. However, this encounter which the fate had arranged again was difficult to deal with. Now she had obligations and the morality issues to deal with. As a married woman with all the trappings of a moribund contract with the religion and society, she knew, she had to be in full acceptance of all the dictates about what she could and could not do. To keep her conscience clean, she couldn't just relay on her feelings and emotions but must invoke the sense of morality. On the one hand she had her sexuality which had been slightly diminished with age but had not reached yet to that point in time when the absence of sexuality and passion is masked by the virtues of being prudent and dignified.

Marissa's heart missed a bit when she realized that the opportunity to reenact that night before her wedding was coming to her again because that night was not a one night stand but was stored in her memories as a monument of her ecstatic pleasure born out of intense passion she felt for that man. She had cherished those memories as the Paradise gained and lost never to be revisited. She battled all day with her desires since the time someone called her and told her to be ready and leave with Miguel as soon as circumstances permit.

Three years had eroded his image from her memory but her psyche had not forgotten his skillful touches and kisses which lighted her passion and took her beyond the realms of earthly constrains and the sense of being free and in control of her body, mind and spirit; a journey she never made with her husband. Human sexuality is a blessing and curse at the same time. It is a blessing because it distinguishes us from the other species on this planet and is so much unique to humans that even our creator does not claim to have it. It Is also a curse though, if left unbridled, it can lead to destruction of a civilization as Helen of Troy and Cleopatra discovered In the current situation of Marissa of course, her actions that night would only effect the outcomes of Miguel's mission and there had to be but one and only option; successful departure .


Chapter 2
Miguel's Mission

By Niyuta

When Miguel knocked on the door, she had gone upstairs and was peeping from behind the curtains to see who the person was. Carlos had made elaborate arrangements for the safety of his family. All doors were well lighted and had periscopes to see who was outside without standing in front of the door to prevent from getting shot through the door and also had second story windows set up for observation of incoming traffic in the street in front of his villa.

The backdoor was a fake facade blocked by a six inch brick wall and the actual back door was in the bathroom behind a tall cabinet. It was covered with a fake brick panel on the outer wall. From the gully it appeared like a real outer wall. Miguel had all the plans and had memorized every instruction, features. He was a well traveled individual in that part of the country and was familiar with the risks. When Mallissa saw him, he was in the Trucking Company uniform and looked more matured than she had remembered but his face had not changed that much, she remembered his well-formed lips; " they are same lusty, full of passion" she thought.

She came down and opened the door slightly. He gave the package and told her to put all her jewelry and gold in the box inside that package and be ready in forty minutes. She started to give her plan of escape but he cut her off and said, "no; that won't work" they will be here anytime; just do as planned. When I come back I will be outside your back door in the bathroom and I won't knock; the pass word will be," finished bath?" and you say, " I don't take bath at night". This way I will know all is fine". Then he gave a bottle and instructed her to give Andres four pills with milk; he will sleep throughout the journey. "Be ready at the rear door in Thirty minutes and I will be there as soon as I can; don't come up with anything new." He gave her the final word on that matter.

When he returned she was ready. He went upstairs and picked Andres and rolled him up in quilt like rough cloth used for transporting rugs. They went out without any event or noise. Miguel looked at his watch and it was 1:30AM. They slipped out of short alley and there was a beat-up and rusty Ford with Arizona License Plate, parked with its trunk partially opened. Get in he told her; she hesitated for a moment but did as was told; then he pushed Andres limp body inside. There was a man sitting on the driver's seat. Miguel jumped in the rear seat and made sure door was locked and the tinted widows were up. They drove for about one and half hour and were out in the country side. Eventually, a hillock came in sight, driver said we are here and Miguel sat upright and said,
"The truck is on the other side, be careful on the climb and watch for large rocks, just drive the car inside gently in first gear only and when your lights come to touch the back of my cab, cut the engine and put chalks under the wheels and tie it up".
Si senior said the man. All went smoothly and Miguel gave the man a wad of twenty Dollar Bills and said "¡gracias por todo! ; they are all there as promise Manuel." "No Problema señor" came the response.

Miguel drove nonstop and they reached Arizona-Mexico borders. It was about three AM when he pulled the truck on a side road and stopped. He went back and called her out," are you OK, "Yes bit cramps in my leg but fine" she responded. We will be entering US. Remain still and make sure Andres does not make any noise. As soon as I cross the border, I will pull over and you will be out; just about forty minutes more" he assured her.

As he entered the international border's custom areas, he saw one read light turning green. He raced to that lane and Custom man recognized him,
" What you got?"
" Just a stolen vehicle returning to the Insurance company and here are the papers from Tijuana police Department". Man reached out and examined the papers briefly and whispered,
"Anything for my troubles?" He asked sheepishly.
"Yes, of course but you have not yet inspected the vehicle" Miguel replied.

" Oh yes, I better do that; we are on the candid camera, I forgot" He took a heavy duty flashlight and lumbered towards the back of the Box Truck and searched the underbelly of the vehicle and when Miguel opened the back doors of truck,the fat agent climbed up in the truck with his help. He barely could go around the Ford inside but managed to get to the back door and opened it. He bent forward and quickly retrieved a brown lunch bag and pushed it in his underpants.
When they reached outside the town of Bisbee, Miguel stopped at a shabby looking truck-stop with a Cantina. He backed up the truck to the rear door of that restaurant, cut the engine and went around and opened the door. He tapped on the trunk and in a subdued voice told Mallissa,
"when you get out of the trunk stretch your legs, hold the side of the truck and stand for about fifteen minutes and don't try to walk. He opened the trunk and helped her out. She grabbed his torso and slid out. He steadied her and when she held the railing on the side of the truck, he got out and knocked on the door. Someone opened it and he took them inside through a poorly lit corridor and into a room. He followed her carrying the bundle with Andres inside.

Andres was still under the influence of sleeping pills. A Native American waiter brought breakfast and pot of hot coffee. Both eat hungrily. He went out and she fell asleep on the bed next to Andres. When he returned after a long time, perhaps three hours, he found her freshened up and alert. She was ready to discuss his next move. He told her that she has to be on her own from now.
" There is a man waiting outside for you in the car; take all your stuff except the gold and jewelry, Did you bring the wig, sunglasses and other stuff Carlos told you to?" She responded by nodding her head in affirmative gesture. He continued," You will be dropped at Bisbee downtown. There are three antique shops selling Native American Stuff. You go in the shop which is on the opposite side of that road by itself and the others are side by side opposite to this one.
When you enter, do not go to the counter but go on a browsing trip like a tourist until a white woman in her sixties with many strands of beads around her neck and Turquoise earrings comes up to you and says, "Have you seen my special collections?" Then you say, " Is it any different than one in Santa Fe?" If she says " Ours is better than that". Then you just follow her in the back of the store to get further instructions. If she responds anything else? Then just get out of that place, take taxi and return here. The taxi will wait for you with its hood open in the same place where he will drop you. Any questions? "
" No, but what is happening to Andres? And when will I see my husband?" she asked. "Andres is going with me and answer to your question is, I don't know when". "Will I see you again?" " I don't know that either but I promise you, when dust settles down, I will find you."

They went separate ways. She did exactly as she was told and when she went back of the store, the woman gave her an envelope and left her alone. She opened it and there was a scribbled note in Carlos handwriting,
" Go with the taxi and he will drop you at a place called, "Thousand Steps". Make sure you pay him as you would pay a real taxi. Take your bags and go up the steps; they are not thousand but just lots of steps. When you go up, you will see a house sitting right on the edge of that ridge. You go in and stay there. Everything you need is there including phone but do not make calls or answer any phone. If I want to contact you I will find a way. If you made it up to that point, you made it. I miss you; love you and may Santa Maria be with you. There was no signature or name printed but she knew it was from him. There were Three Hundred Dollars in many denominations.

She read the letter again and then went out. Woman sold her something and she paid her what so ever was on the invoice. Then the shopkeeper asked her to return the letter to her and she did. After that everything went as planned. When finally Mallissa fell in the bed, she sunk in despair and all her strength melted away like butter left on the table and she started to weep silently.

In just forty eight hours her world was shattered again as if providence had set a program to destroy everything she cherished every ten years. Her first world of childhood was shattered when her father, a subsistence farmer refused to sell his holding to the marijuana plantation builders was killed and her mother was dragged to the labor camp. She had escaped the capture because she was in school away from home. She was just ten then and after that she landed in Veracruz orphanage thanks to the padre who happened to be in the village on that day to conduct a wedding.

For the next five years she went through relatively without any untoward event and she got some basic education in Spanish and Basic English.When she turned fifteen, she was sent to work because the orphanage was for children under fifteen. She worked as house maid but her quickly growing youthful body became her enemy. To prevent her master- the husband of the woman she worked for- from seducing her, she was kicked out of job by and ultimately reached her mother's village, found her uncle and aunts living on meager earnings by selling vegetables and flowers. Her arrival in one way helped the old man because right after her arrival he lost his wife to snake bite. Mallissa managed his life and made improvements in his business. She turned eighteen, when Carlos came into her life.
The next ten years were the best of all three decades when she did not have shortage of anything, and she regularly sent money to her uncle until he died of alcohol poisoning few years after her marriage. Life's vagaries are hard to understand and impossible to know what purpose to any, they serve. Many theories are floating around ranging from God's wrath laid upon the Children of Eve because of her seeking knowledge to the consequences of bad deeds and bonanza of good ones performed in this and all past lives as the Eastern Religions believed. Whatsoever theory one wants to believe in, it really does not matter; the fact remains that the human life is manipulated. Who does the manipulation or why? Has no answer now nor it will ever be found. The "Wheel of Samsara" as the Eastern philosophers described it, is turning all the time and Mallissa, Andres, Carlos and Miguel are nothing more than houseflies going around and around till I suppose they fall of the wheel. For now, the chapter, Miguel's Mission, seems to be coming to an end for her.


Chapter 3
Carlos Fate

By Niyuta

When Customs Inspector Peter pulled in his driveway; he heard sound of breeze rattling the rear door. He stepped out of his station wagon and muttered under his breath, " Damn that storm door is lose again" and went around the cottage. What he found was not only the storm door but also the basement door was wide open. " Oh my god; I hope they didn't get him" and then he ran inside the door, up the stairs and into the guest bedroom. He did not notice anything unusual but there were no sign of anyone's presence in the structure. The bed hadn't been slept in. He went to front window, opened it and stuck his head out to scan the farmland and then the man in short sleeve shirt, a Fedora and Khaki pants leaning on the car asked," What's wrong Pete?" "I don't know but Mendez is gone. I think Mafia hit man must have followed us and got him".

" I am coming up" said the FBI sleuth. He followed the same passage and got into room. Quickly he scanned the room with his expert eyes. I don't think anyone else came in; at least not in a vehicle. There are no tracks besides your station wagon's and it would be hard for them to walk up to this place without foot steps. You don't have a paved road. Besides that it is not their style. I think he left on his own. I noticed foot print going away from the cottage towards the fence as I came in. Let us look around a bit" the FBI man said. He then methodically studied the bedroom. There was a depression on the chair cushion where Carlos had parked himself when he was looking at the "Last Supper" Photograph. He walked towards the picture and intently examined it with a magnifying glass and then turned around to peter and said, " I think you frightened him when you left him here and returned to the city." " But why, we always have been good friends and what makes you so sure?" Pete asked in an injured voice. " Well, come here, look at this picture with this" and handed him the instrument. "What am I suppose to see?" Peter protested. "Just examine each face in that picture" the man guided him. " I don't get it; why don't you just spit it out?" Peter was upset.

"There are two fingerprints of index finger; one is on Peter's face and the other on the Judas'; I hope you went to the Sunday school when you were a child." The man had a touch of scorn in his voice.
He continued with his observations and asked Peter:

" I am pretty sure he vanished not knowing whose side you were. By the way, what Asset did he say he was willing to share with us?"

"He told me that he had encounter tapes of three US agencies' top persons who are on the mafia payroll and the list and photographs of their meetings in various resorts and the smugglers' and Coyote routes and safe houses in Texas, New Mexico and of course Cal border". Peter replied with bit of annoyance in his voice.

"Do you believe on his claims after all we have had such fake information supplied to us by the shysters and Con-men before, only to make fool of us. They give information about the abandon routes, tunnels and safe houses, which was already in the hands of local custom agents. By the way what is a proof he was telling the truth?" The FBI man was skeptical as he had never met Captain Carlos Menendez before.
Peter said in a low voice:

"I know this man; a committed soldier on this war on drug and let me tell you, he is probably the poorest man holding senior rank and having decorated for bravery on the Mexican force. He is running scared now since his trusted right hand man was cut down with three agents in a set up that was arranged by a high ranking attorney in DA's office. They did not even spare the man's family; killed his wife and son on the same evening.

Carlos told me now his own and also the son's life is in danger because as a revenge, he personally killed that attorney in fake encounter in Acapulco casino hotel. With that DA, there were two male prostitutes and another young man of twenty years; a grandson of a Chicago God Father. One of the Male prostitutes survived and told the police hierarchy, the details of the raid and the descriptions of trigger men. The information was shared with the drug cartel boss protecting the young man while in Mexico. They know who the killer is. At least Carlos believes they do."

The FBI sleuth was listening to Pet's story carefully and replied:
Oh yes, I remember that case about five months ago. So we have this jewel on our hand; a great asset indeed. A man portrayed by to our liberal press as a Mexican butcher; a trigger happy Policeman. The son of bitch's photo must have been on LA to NY Times at least twice when that encounter took place. I believe, there was one Senator from New York, who wanted him to stand trial in the US for killing of the Mafioso Sweet Angel's grandson. I think he was pressurizing the secretary of State to demand his extradition to US, to stand trial.

I know that the Mexican inquiry of that business showed that the alleged Policeman was out of country when the incident happened and the Transvestite who recognized him, also changed his story and to discredit the evidence, then the ER doctors confirmed that the man was critically injured and could not have recognized his own hands, leave aside a face, in that dimly lit room. As the months passed, Mexican Authority closed the case and Mafia Family did not make fuss over their Gay grand-kid; they quietly buried him somewhere near Acapulco and forgot him. I doubt if your man was ever in any danger. However, he is here in the US and it won't be hard to track him down with all that publicity."

Peter said, " that makes more sense to me. Carlos must have been collecting evidence against the Mexican government officials and his own bosses for long time as a bargaining chip with us or with mafia depending on who gets him first They must have decided to take care of him later at an opportune time."

"Well, Peter your assessment is correct; there is not much time waste. Do not mention this encounter to anyone unless you want to be on the run too; just forget about everything you know and move on and for the God's sake do not speak to reporters or write a book about it at least until we get him first or he is found dead which I doubt; he is a real Lobo alright. Now drop me at the Air Port, I have an appointment to keep. Here is my card and if you get any information that will help, do not call 911, just call this number and say, "I am ready to sell and I will arrange everything". Peter nodded his head and looked at the card, "Century 21", Real Estate Agent, 'so and so' and there was that telephone number.

When they went to the car, The FBI Agent pulled his briefcase and took out a "House For Sale Sign" and hammered it in the ground.
"Get Rid of it in two or three days" he instructed Peter, They left the farm house and each went their separate ways.

The trucker woke Carlos at about five in the morning and spoke to him,
" senior, casual labor for the meat packing plant or construction work usually assemble in that parking lot" Carlos got off and the trucker drove off.
Carlos had changed his cloths before leaving and was wearing a tea shirt, a used blue jean and a cap which Miguel had brought with him. His face was covered with stubble of gray and black hair. Now he started to walk with slight limp in his gait to change the walking style from that of a policeman to a person with a permanently injured lower torso.

By the time a Plant foreman arrived, there were thirty odd men and women waiting in a line patiently chatting and swapping stories of their lives. They were a happy lot. They were in the US and there was no much molestation or harassment from thugs, policemen or land lords. With exception of some race based slurs and comments by few white farmhands, which they always could ignore. Without reacting to it, they would avoid future attentions to them by shouting in a chorus and in Latino phrase , " no entienden Inglés" (Don't understand English).

All folks knew they would have a good chance of finding work at the plant and that meant food, booze and all other necessities would be in sight and the second phase of a long journey to US citizenship would begin; lot more to gain than trying to protect one's dignity by taking offenses with Gringo's derogatory comments.

Carlos tried to keep his distance from the man behind him in the line. The man had already recognized him as a new arrival from the South of the border.
As a conversational subject and sort of letting the newcomer know that his secret was safe, the man asked him if he had the papers?

"What papers?" Carlos replied.

"Work Permit" the stranger replied and then added, "if you don't have, I can send you where you get one. Then he switched to Latino dialect:
" Llámame Popito, cada uno hace en el campo. Mi casa es tu casa (If you have no place to sleep, my home is your home ").

Carlos responded cautiously. With the profuse thanks; he declined the offer by saying:
"Gracias. Me estoy quedando en casa de mi Cosin de. Tengo mis papeles. (I am ok, I am living in my cousin's place and I have the papers").

Often real danger is less eminent and frightening than the perceived one but then, who knows who controls human destiny and when the cruel events happen. Often they seem to appear like the vengeful acts of that terrible fate, but in reality, they are nothing more than the outcome of wrong decisions taken due to that perceived danger to our sense of security.

There was no creditable evidence ever found by the Mexican and US authorities that the drugs lords or the American Mafia ever went after Carlos or his family. They discovered his disappearance from his villa only after his precinct sent someone to find out why he did not report to work. He simply vanished in thin air because perhaps no one wanted him or were looking for him after that; each side perhaps thought that the other side got them first and their bodies may be in the bottom of the ocean or mixed in the concrete somewhere.

The Mexican officials in charge of investigations were glad to see an honest cop gone and in the US, only few were aware of his value at that time. This conclusion was reached by FBI after a year long search for him and then finding him in the most obvious place where lots of immigrants from South America were employed as farm workers or the meat packers. That Agent from San Diego office tracked him down three years after he fled from Peter's farm house.
How he caught up with him was no secret at all. He simply had done that through the Standard Operating Procedure(SOP),in which search for the father was kept on a rear burner and tracking down of spouse or children was put on priority.

The only person who had the knowledge of everyone's whereabouts, was Senior Miguel who remained in the border region doing same thing which he was doing all his life; operating box-truck business, distributing goods from warehouses to the customers and occasionally bringing back stolen vehicles from south of the border for the insurance companies.

Carlos did not know what happened to Mallissa. Miguel never told him about her fearing for him and was worried that his uncle will try to get her back. The other complications that had entered into that twisted tell of four lives, was that he had brought her to California to his home and since then, they had been living together as husband and wife and to top it,she had given him a daughter.

In Mallissa's practical and uncomplicated thinking, the concept of morality in the marriage between the man and a woman was a foregone conclusion for the omnipresent God. When two adults begin in sincerity to live like husband and wife, performed all duties towards each other, and to the Church, faithfully, where is the sin? The divorce was a mere arrangement to clear up the tail-end of a unworkable arrangement if the children and estates were not involved.She had rationalized the situation in one sitting and never asked him about her husband or his son nor tried to reach him out, mainly because of that fear of getting discovered, just in case he was caught and they traced her through him. Miguel kept that fear going by simply not saying anything to dispell it.

After becoming a real mother, her world changed completely and Andres became a past that had no relevance to the present; at lest emotionally. Her conscience was clear; she had done everything she could do with affection if not motherly love.

Only information Carlos got about his family members on a regular intervals was related to events happenings into Andres life and that's where FBI picked up the scent when they started checking up on the Catholic orphanages, schools and Foster Homes records. The quick success too happened by sheer coincidence.

Andres had reached fifteen and by the rule he could not live in the orphanage dorm. He was placed in a house hold of a Salvadoran family. Carlos used to send money for him through a long but trusted network that shielded him and Miguel who had facilitated it. In the orphanage, those transactions went through charitable accounts and no cash was ever given to Andres but it was spent on his necessities.

When he went to live with the family, the arrangement also shifted to the new caregivers. Ignorant of facts and figures and the compliance with the rules and regulations related to foster parenting, the family simply put money in their bank account and gave the ward, anything he asked for. However in spite of using most of it for the intended purpose, they in emergency used it to manage their own needs. Not fully understanding the rules that the money they were getting from the state of Arizona's Foster Care program had a stipulation that if any additional resources were found, like child support money from absent parents, or a trusts, they were required it to be reported on certain forms to the State's Child Welfare Fund program.

Unfortunately for them, they never understood the purpose of that regulation and failed to report that money because of fear of reduction in the program's reimbursement of expenses. A routine and random audit revealed that situation and they were promptly arrested for a welfare fraud. Poor folks were frightened beyond their wits. The story got picked up in the local news paper and Andres came in light and the local sheriff, who had received routine and repeated FBI inquiry about unsolved cases of missing children. He remembered Andre's family-name and face as the young man was always hanging around the law enforcement people whenever they had gone to his school for scaring away bad guys and drug peddler or to enforce that, "No drug" zone.

The boy's obsession with police equipment and cars was so much excessive that almost everyone in the Sheriff's and County Police departments knew his face and had heard his declaration, " I'm gone be a Texas Ranger when I grow up".
Sheriff decided to visit him at the school. When he found out that Andres was a son of a Missing Mexican Policeman he felt that it was his duty to help the family of another law enforcement officer. He sent the report to California FBI office and they tracked payments to Miguel and he took them Carlos.

By the time they got to him, he had settle down with a woman with two kids. He was working at a Truck dealership as assistant manager. When FBI agent told him that they did not find any evidence of Mafia or anyone else was after him; he simply broke down and wept like a child. He asked them what were they going to do and the Agent said we can set up a reunion program for him and his family and if he wants to stay in the US, they could help him or go back; the choice was his, provided he still had the information that he had assured Peter he had brought over.

He made a deal but told them that there was no need to rearrange the lives of rest of the family members and now he was happy with his new life. He just wanted to wait for his son to grow up bit more before reentering his life.
"He has my image as a Senior Police Officer in his mind, I don't want to disappoint him now; he is so proud of me. He thinks I died in a shoot out with the bad guys. I will get the truth to him when I am ready for him; I want his respect before I want his love". The proud man spoke with sincerity and tears in his eyes.

They agreed. He gave them the location and the combinations of Safe deposit box in Tuscan, Arizona and they gave him freedom. Carlos did not get angry at his nephew when he found out that his wife was living with him and had a child from him.

"Take good care of her she is a fine woman Miguel, get married as soon as I get my papers and I divorce her. Also I can marry Lucille here and then, may be, we could become family again." He told his nephew.

"Someday when he is ready, we will bring Andres in too" he sort of spoke to himself also. As they were parting, he turned around and said as if it was an afterthought, to his nephew, " You took lot of troubles and risks for your uncle, your mother would have been so proud of you! And I love you."

They parted, knowing fully, they were not likely to meet again because their lives had taken so many twists and turns, that the path to each others Casa was littered with the fragments of their painful journey and broken lives. No one likes to take such a path again. Each of them had found the comforts, happiness and peace in the arms of a new partner.

No one has completely explained how and why good and bad events take place in our lives but many times we find that proverbial silver lining when we come out of that storm and a rainbow appears on the horizon. One wonders if it is just to remind us that after every red light, there is a green light waiting to come on so we can continue our life's journey after pausing for the orange one and also to remember what Edward Kennedy said, " Hope shall live and Dreams will Never Die".


Chapter 4
Texas Ranger At Last-Andres Journey

By Niyuta

When he woke up in that Cantina, Andres was groggy and he was aching from head to toe. He did not know what had happened after he went to sleep nor did he realize where he was waking up. Heavy dose of Valium had sedated him dangerously but he came through the night unharmed. In the dark room he cried for only person he knew would come whenever he was sick and that was his Mama.
No one came and then he was frightened and cried loudly for Marrissa. In a moment door opened and a stranger came in the room and said to him:

Tu mam�¡ no est�¡ aqu�­, que se encargar�¡ de ti ahora. �¿Est�¡s bien?"
(Your mom is not here, I will take care of you now. Are you okay?)"

"No, estoy sufriendo en absoluto" ("No,I am not suffering at all").
He responded in a very low voice and fell back in the bed crying silently.
He responded in a very low voice and fell in the bed, crying silently.

The woman came back with warm milk and some pills and said to him,
"No llores, Tomad y bebed todos de la leche y se sentir�¡ mejor". (Do not cry, drink all the milk and you'll feel better".)
She helped him to sit up and he slowly drank the milk and took the pills with it. Then he fell back in the bed and dozed off.

By the time Miguel returned with McDonald's lunch bag, it was almost noon and Marissa was miles away on the road to Bisbee. He took the boy out of that dark room and they sat outside in a picnic table. Andres was feeling lousy but he was ravenously hungry and smell of French Fries made him forget the circumstances he was in. He ate and drank large coke. The Caffeine and sugar in the drink made his hangover go away.

When he was calm and collected, Miguel introduced himself as Cousin and told him that his Mama had gone to take care of his Papa and she was not going to be back soon. He asked "if his Papa was staying at home and why he did not come to see him in so many days? Miguel avoided the questions and said,

" He will come and see you soon and then you ask him. For now I am taking you to a place and you will be staying there for a while; it is a nice place and you will meet boys and girls of your age, eat hamburger, fries and coke and also you will be able to continue your studies."

Andres nodded his head. There was nothing unusual about his Papa's absence. He was used to it but he was bit disturbed that his Mama left him without telling him where she was going or when she was returning. She always told him, whenever she went for shopping or to socialize with her friends. He kept his thoughts to himself. He did not much care for the stranger who called himself his cousin. He had suspicion that Miguel had something to do with the absence of his parents.

When they left for Tuscan; Andres noticed that everything looked different and there were signs in English and he saw the Big "M" on the horizon he remembered his trip to San Diego and he thought he was going to be with Papa on Peter's home. With that thought he settled down and was watching the traffic.
A police car came from behind with its lights flashing and Siren blaring, Miguel became tense and uttered, "Shit" and pulled the truck on the shoulder. The trooper slowed down a bit and zoomed passed the truck. Miguel relaxed and thought, I better calm down and not panic like this.

Andres was so thrilled to see the cop in action that his child's simple way of reverting to the most favorite play scene, came alive. He was acting as if he was in that Squad car and he was shooting at the imaginary villains walking past his truck, like he was playing that Cop and Robber Game with his friend. Every now and then his dad used to take him to the firing range and had introduced him to firing of a ladies Derringer Pistol which he kept at home with Marissa and had taught her how to use it. By the time they reached Tuscan, it was twilight and sun had already set living behind that beautifully lit up crimson --orange sky.

Miguel felt hungry and asked Andres if he wanted another Cheese Burger and Coke? That delighted the child. They went through a Drive Through and he picked the Child's meal for him in which there was a toy Police Car. He pulled the Truck in a secluded end of the parking lot and they eat their last meal together. Andres had fully recovered from his ordeal and remembered his manners. He spoke to Miguel in his usual genteel manners:

"Primo Miguel, gracias por todo; Te quiero" . ("Cousin Miguel, thank you for everything; I love you".)

"That's alright; I love you too" he said to the kid and messed up his hair with bit of emotion in his voice. Then they drove to a Catholic Orphanage and Andres read the board loudly as if to display his skill in English reading, " BOARDING HOME FOR YOUTH".

Miguel pulled up the truck on the side of a multistory brick building which looked like housing the Administration Offices. He told Andres to wait in the truck and went inside. He must have gone in for about thirty minutes and came out with a woman in a Nun's outfit. He opened the door and said to the boy," Come down now and don't forget your toy". Andres got out and the Nun Came forward and extended her hand and said:

"Bienvenido Andr�©s, yo soy la hermana Estela;.. Ven conmigo lo que vas a quedarte conmigo esta noche". (Bienvenido Andr�©s, I am sister Estela;... Come with me; you are going to stay with us tonight.)

Andres turned his face to see if Miguel was coming also but he saw him taking a small suitcase which Marissa had packed for him. He followed them but Sister Stella stopped him at the steps leading to the verandah of that building and said,"I think you better leave now, we will take good care of this handsome boy" then took the suitcase from his hand and both disappeared in the building.

Miguel went back to his truck and sat there in the driver's seat for a quite sometime. The weary feeling which he was fighting all along the mission, finally came over him. Now the journey's end was visible and he had fallen asleep in his saddle with the satisfaction of the Mission Accomplished and the prize was there, waiting for him in Bisbee.

When he woke up it was past midnight. The three quarter moon was out and sky was cloudless. Night looked serene and peaceful life seems to be awaiting to everyone now that they had out miles between the dangerous, crime ridden hometown and the wild open country stretched in front of him. Viva la US he thought and smile broke on his face.

He drove off towards the city and found a Motel with bar. He quickly drank few beers and went to bed. Next morning he drove straight into Bisbee,and headed for that house perched on the ridge, off the Thousand Steps hill. As he was coming up the bend on the road, she saw him. He pushed open the door and she flung herself in his arms. She had not seen or spoken to any one for almost twenty four hours. She was frightened, lonely and lost. For her life's journey had come to a stop sign with three other roads meeting and not knowing what lay beyond or which one has taking her to her destiny.

In his arms she broke and sobbed hysterically. He simply held her to his strong chest and did not say a word. When she finished; he pulled her chin up, gently pushed her soft black hair away from her face and kissed her softly and whispered in her ear,
"Sus m�¡s! Somos libres de amarnos unos a otros".("It's over! We are free to love each other").

A weak smile came on her lips as if she wasn't sure if that is what she wanted but she whispered almost inaudibly:
"Dame un beso m�¡s".(Give me one more Kiss.)

"With pleasure I will give you thousand kisses" he said and kissed her again and again until she pushed him away and spoke in English this time,

"You stink like a Burro, go take shower".
" Not unless you soap my back" he responded playfully.
"No, you not baby, may be later; now let me make lunch for you" She disappeared in the kitchen and he went to get cleaned up.

Next day they moved to his home in the outskirt of San Diego. Finally Marissa found her own dream world and in few months she became pregnant with his child. The wheel of Samsara finally turned in the direction they both wanted. For the next five years, life went on smoothly. Miguel went north and gave full report to his uncle and of course omitting the information about Marissa. He told him that she moved to Washington DC to work for a house hold of a Congressman from New Mexico and that there was no point to reach her because he did not have their address or contact information.

"How did she get that job he asked suspiciously?"

" Well, I paid a woman with some of her Jewelry in Tuscan and she arranged it and I don't know the details" he lied.

Then he diverted Carlos attention to his Son and gave the details of his whereabouts and left. Carlos was happy that he had successfully bit the odds and everyone had found a safe heaven. He missed Marissa for a very short time. There was no real love between them and everything was like a business partnership anyway.

The stressful nature of his job in Mexico had impacted his desires for sexual gratifications and he almost always was late to come home when she was tiredly waiting for him and then he would pack her to bedroom while he sat in the kitchen and drank few beers while eating something. Often he had fallen asleep in his living room with TV going on until she shut it in the morning.

On her part; she kept herself fit, attractive and ready for him if he wanted her and that used to happen once in a while on a holiday or weekend when he was not called off to work and after a Soccer game with his favorite team wining and if she was around to arose him.

She disappeared from his mind and thoughts after he met a middle aged white woman by name Lucille who worked at the Truck dealership. They liked each other. She had moved from California and was used to Mexican men. She helped him get the job and he started helping her with children and then they became lovers and eventually started living together. By the time he became assistant manager, she had quit her job and was a full time home maker and that's how Marissa was replaced and every one settled down in their lives. Occasionally Carlos sent money to the Boys Boarding Home but never disclosed his existence to anyone, not even to Lucille. When FBI showed up and cleared the air; he was ready to trust her and share his life story.

Andres meanwhile grew up without his family but life in the USA was good for him. He was free within the bounds laid out by the establishment and received good care. There were many children of his age and as he was reaching the puberty he started to notice the changes in the bodies of girls he was studying with. They had separate living quarters but the school was coed. Andres in his adolescent years was a handsome child. With mustache line appearing on his well formed lips and the dark eyes with neatly arranged eyebrows which he had inherited from his mother, he looked very handsome and older girls started to pay him attention overtly.He on the other hand was still lingering in his childhood and his dream of becoming a Texas Ranger had not died.

The local Police new him by name and sight. He was there whenever they showed up at the school for any reason. The old Sheriff, Art Wilson became sort of found of this young man. Unlike other boys he was very respectful and saluted them as if he was in uniform also. The other white, Black and Hispanic guys made fun of him. They had nicknamed him, "Oink, Oink ass-kisser and only few befriended him. He did not care and told them yes; I love them all. My father was a great Police Man. Some frustrated girls whose invitation for slumber parties he would decline after the first one he went to, and where he almost lost his virginity,spread the gossip that he was gay. Eventually they all left him alone. It was Susan Wilson the Sheriff's youngest daughter who was a class behind him proved them wrong by becoming his steady girlfriend. They met at the Sheriff's reelection booth and he was invited to the reelection party. His clean looks, innocence and politeness impressed Susan's mother and then they began studying together as he was a Magnet student he could help her with difficult math problems rather easily. She was an attractive but studious looking young woman and most boys ignored her because of her father's job. There friendship turned into a fondness and love by the time he got to the Community college and she came in the next year. The picture was beginning to get better and better as the time passed except for some resentment about Susan dating a Hispanic guy but then Sharif Art had special liking for the young man and most young patrolmen left him alone.

After his fifteenth birthday, he was transferred to a foster home. It was a household of a Salvadoran family with four children. They were very good to him because Carlos started sending money and gifts to him. They gave him what he needed but kept some of it to meet the needs of other children also.
As the time passed and he finished his high school diploma with excellent grades and entered in the community college for a two years diploma in Criminal Justice.

It was in his second and the final year when he had reached nineteen, the Arizona State Police recruiters came to his college for an employment fair t search for suitable candidates for the Police academy. Of course, Andres was there bright and early.

There were two guys and a woman in uniform who were conducting the interviews and doing what the recruiters do. When his turn came to talk to them, he by habit saluted them in the way his father used to receive them. The younger of the two was a young patrolman from the border town of Texas by name Arnold. He hated illegal immigrants coming in from across the borders. He at once recognized that saluting style and his meanness came up instantly. Andres' innocent, raw face irritated him more.

When he opened the folder which Andres had neatly prepared for that event, and glanced at his interim mark sheet and noted the 4.0 average and that disturbed his mental image of a Mexican as "Dumb Bastards". In addition to that, he also remembered that he had barely made through most of the courses and had passed college diploma with 2.25 Average.

He started the interview with a remark insulting the Mexican Police. He said to the young man,

" where did you learn to salute that stupid Chicano Police way?". Andres did not react immediately because he did not get the point of that insult which he had not heard before and responded,

" I don't know what Chicano means, but my father was a Senior Mexican Police and he died fighting with drug dealers and that is why I want to be a Police Man."

The woman in uniform was a senior deputy from the county unit; she had seen Andres many times; Cathy was her name. She was listening to their conversation and was visibly disturbed by the way interview had started. The jerk then asked Andres:
"How did you get 4.0 average; you are dumb Mexican; we don't take Chicanos and Nigger in the Arizona State Police. Go, become a security guard if you want to be in a blue uniform".

That was too much for Andres to take and he reacted;
" I am not dumb and I earned every grade with hard work" and then unlike his passive character, he blurted out,

" It is you who is dumb and unfit to put that uniform on".

The trooper turned red in his face because Andres was right about that and also reminded him of his failures. He stood up and tore up the folder, and threw it on his face. Andres was delicately handsome but he had worked in the Gym to be a strong man, fit for the police physical and also had taken basic boxing training for courage. With that folder hitting on his face, he stood up and hit the police man right on his lip. Before the police man could reach for his gun, Cathy the policewoman took Andres out of the booth and told him to leave. Then she turned around and said to her colleague,

"You better freeze, I heard every word you said and I will testify against you for what you said to him and how you trampled his civil rights; it was a dumb thing to do."

With that commotion, the Senior Policeman by name, Steve Sandasky,came in the booth. He was several feet away on another table talking on his cell. Cathy appraised him about the incident. There were other employers' booths around them and senior Policeman realized what damage the young patrolman had done to their image as other students waiting to speak with them, started to move away and soon, usual derogatory sounds of Pig calling started when Andres told his co-students what happened and showed them his tattered folder. Steve asked Arnold to leave and told Cathy to make a First Incidence Report.

When Andres had turned eighteen, he had received a parcel from Miguel. When he opened, it was a personalized Bible with his Dad's name engraved on it and there was a combination lock on it. He recognized that book instantly. He remembered the combinations because it was his birth date; the month and last two digits of the year he was born. He couldn't believe it came to his possession. That night in his room, he opened the top, ornamented brass plate and then flipped through the pages until middle of the book and there it was, that Derringer Pistol and five bullets neatly and cleverly concealed.

He took it out and as he was trained to handle it by his father,he put his hat and took aim at several objects without loading it. Then he loaded two bullets in the cylinder but did not realize that one of them had automatically aligned with the muzzle. He put safety lock on and placed it back in the carved chamber in the book, did not locked it and when he went to his car, he put it in the glove compartment not realizing that he was carrying a concealed weapon without a permit to do so.

After that incident, Andres went to his car and drove off. As he left the college campus, he noticed a State Police car pulling out of the same exit. Instinctively he knew who was in that car and he made a quick right turn in a gully and pulled in front of one office building. His instinct was right on the mark. The policeman had seen him coming out and leaving the area but by the time he got a chance to pass other cars, he had missed Andres turning into that side enclave and sped away in search of him.

He was infuriated to begin with and now it added fuel to his anger that the kid had hoodwinked him. Andres had planned to wait for about half an hour and then pull out of that gully and get on the highway. However, the pursuing patrolman had not given up his search because after he went few miles on that straight highway, he had realized that Andres was not in front of him but was hiding and there was no other place but to cut in that gully. He knew the place very well as all other police of that county and precincts did.

That was a favorite street for the petty criminals and drugs peddlers. It was close to college and away from any major thoroughfare. It was a one way connecting east side to the west just before the ramp for the highway. The patrolman quickly turned around and went back into college campus and drove to the back exit to get on the street that connected to the same gulley from the opposite end. When he was doing that, the other two officers saw him. They had finished loading of the paraphernalia and getting in the squad car and Cathy said to her boss:

" hay Steve, that is Arnold; he should have been out of this area by now; I wonder where is he going in a hurry back to campus looks like. I hope he is not going after that kid".

"That rookie has a serious problem, c'mon lets see where he is heading" Steve said to her and they followed him. She was reaching for the radio, but Steve stopped her:

"wait don't make him feel like we are conspiring against him. He may be going somewhere else but let's find out; I will catch up with him to have a coffee." With that idea in mind she pulled the cruiser out and exited in the same way Arnold had and headed on the highway Arnold had taken. When he turned around suddenly and headed back; their suspicion about his intentions became more real and they too turned around and headed back to college.

When Arnold the patrolman entered that gully, he did not see Andres' little Ford "LUV" Truck because he was sitting in the office building's parking lot located on elevated ground with a ramp coming down from where one could see the street below.

There was a Drug transaction going on the road when Andre entered the scene. He saw the road blocked by two vehicles, so he had climbed up the ramp and was waiting for the clearing of that narrow road. The drug buyer had parked the car and drug dealer's SUV was behind him.

In few minutes, Arnold in the police cruiser came upon the scene, and stopped. He got half way out of the vehicle to see what was blocking him and at the same time Andres had pulled from the parking area. He stopped on the ramp as he saw Arnold's head emerging from the cruiser. Now the gully was blocked on both ends, he was wondering how he could escape and then in a flash the whole scene changed.

When the Drug Dealer saw a Trouper getting out of a police vehicle from behind and also was aware that there was no escape route for him, as the client's car had blocked his SUV, he pulled a semiautomatic and emptied the clip at Arnold's direction. At the time, Arnold's torso was half out of his cruiser and he had elevated it by standing on the car's floor. He took two or three rounds straight in and because of his position at an angle to the shooter, two of them penetrated from the side opening at the left shoulder, bypassing the bullet-proof vest and entering the body, severing the major artery. He simply collapsed outside the vehicle with his one foot still stuck in the door.

From his elevated position, Andres had seen the man pulling the gun as he was only fifty or so feet from the police car. As if by instinct of saving a policeman, he moved quickly, opened the glove compartment, pulled the Bible out which was not locked, flipped the gun out, jumped out of the car and ran towered Arnold. The drugs dealer had already emptied his gun and Arnold was down in the pool of blood but still conscious, watched Andre approaching him with the little pistol aimed at the shooter. He saw Andres opening fire and hit the gunman in the back of his neck. The small caliber pistol round only injured the man and he jumped in the customer's car who had fled the scene on foot, and took off.

Andres bent down on the fallen officer and took his gun out. As he was trying to figure out how to fire an automatic, which he had never handled before, he had the weapon pointing down towards the fallen officer. Very same moment Cathy and Steve's cruiser pulled behind him and they saw Andres trying to do something with gun and fellow officer was down on the street.

In a second, Steve pulled his gun and fired two shots. Andres fell on Arnold as the bullets penetrated his neck and lower head; in an instant he was dead.
The drug dealer had by then taken off. Cathy the female officer had already contacted the dispatcher and many police and Sheriff's cars converge on the spot. Meanwhile, Steve was holding Arnold in his arm and talking to him to keep him from becoming unconscious. Arnold wearily opened is eyes and said,

"Steve; that kid came to save my life; I saw him shoot at them; tell him, he will make a fine trooper; will you? Tell him how sorry I am. I was a jerk". Then blood poured out of his mouth as he violently coughed and died in Steve's arms.

When old Sheriff arrived, they were loading bodies in the waiting Ambulance. He went over and uncovered the face and bent down and kissed him; " you will be policeman in heaven Andres. I will miss you. I don't know how Susan is going to take this," he muttered to himself.
For the requiem mass the Church was filled to the capacity with officers, their families. Many other law enforcement folks came to pay the last respects and among them was the Senior Ranger from Texas. There were two coffins laid out and both young men were dressed in the Ceremonial Police Attire. One was in the Arizona State Police and the other was in the Texas Ranger's Uniform.
Andres' courage and life story was narrated to the Commander of Texas Rangers by the Sherriff and with the urging of other rangers, he was commissioned as a Honorary Ranger. Carlos came to see his son too late. When he arrived in the church, he was wearing his full Mexican Officers Ceremonial uniform. He stood at his son's body and said to the Sherriff who was next to him,
" He always wanted to be Police Man just like me; I had planted the seed in him for the dream when he was just five and he carried in his heart; look how handsome he looks in the Ranger's uniform. His mother would have been so proud of him". Then he saluted him like a Mexican officer would to his superior.

As he was leaving, Sheriff Wilson came around and gave him a brown paper bag and said this belongs to you and left. Carlos opened the bag and there was that Bible. Arnold and Andres were buried side by side in the Police Cemetery.
A simple tombstone read,
"Andres Menendez. Texas Ranger. Born July30, 1955 --Killed in line of Duty August 7, 1974."

For Andres, our little hero,one way to look at- his dream came true in spite of the Wheel of Samsara dropping him off its spoke unexpectedly. However, those who knew him well, he will always be held in high esteem as one of those brave men and women, who go out everyday into the battlefields when they leave homes. These are the heroes who keep that Wheel Turning for so many others. They deserve the love and respect which little Andres carried in his heart, from all of us.

Author Notes Citizens often show less respects for the fallen police persons but Andres Menendez carried that respect in his heart because he had his father's memories in his heart. He til end believed his father died on duty.


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