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"Psalms for the Journey"


Prologue
Prologue for PFTJ

By Rdfrdmom2

Kay Arthur states, in The New Inductive Study Bible, that “Man needs to pour out his heart to God--whether it be distress or joy, confusion or confidence.”1 Perhaps that is why I have always found great comfort when I read from the book of Psalms whenever I have found myself in times of trouble and confusion. I feel certain many others have done, and will continue to do, the same.
 
Recently I was sharing a poem (Psalm of Distance) with my therapist as a means of sharing how I was feeling that afternoon. The poem did not have a title at that time, just the words which had poured out of my heart, through the pen and onto the paper. When I finished reading it to her, she asked me if I knew what the poem made her think about. While that can be a slippery slope, this time it was the exact opposite because she said, “It reminds me of a psalm.”
 
I was blown away. Then she took it a step further and suggested I write a book of Psalms as I had written several pieces which she felt would fall into that category.
 
Why does she do these things to me? This is the same person who suggested in October, 2003 I should compile the poems I had been writing along my journey of healing from sexual abuse into a book. That book, Beacons, Prayers, and Processes: Pathways to Healing, was published in December, 2006. Perhaps I can write this one and get it published in a more efficient manner. However, I will not sacrifice the emotion of writing these at the times I most feel the need to cry out to God, be it in joy or distress; while confused or confident; and/or fatigue or renewal.
 
I pray you will find solace in the writings that follow just as I have found peace and comfort over and over again by reading the Psalms written by King David and others before Christ was born. To God be the glory—Amen.
 

1New Inductive Study Bible. Precept Ministries International. Eugene, Oregon. 2000. p.876

Author Notes The Psalms are considered poetry; thus, my psalms will be done in a variety of poetic formats. A special thanks to Anne for the use of "Praying Hands" to enhance this work.


Chapter 1
Psalm for the Journey

By Rdfrdmom2

broken, I fall
prostrate before You, Lord,
torn by the things I have done
 
You
 
do not condemn
nor do You walk away
but look at me with eyes of
 
love
 
and tenderness,
giving the assurance
You will not leave nor forsake
 
me
 
jbh
5-21-12
 
Message within the poem: "You love me"

Author Notes This is a lexibridge. The format for the lexibridge is
4 syllables
6 syllables
7 syllables

bridge

4 syllables
6 syllables
7 syllables

bridge

(repeat as often as author chooses--the poem may end with a verse or a bridge) The bridges may form a message of their own but that is not a requirement.

This poem is meant to be the signature "theme" for this book. A special thanks to TSArt for the use of "Are You There?"


Chapter 2
Psalm of Distance

By Rdfrdmom2

Lord,
I am
so broken;
here, on my knees,
I cry out to You
for mercy and courage
to face my daily burdens
which threaten to forever steal
everything good I’ve ever known.
God, how is it You seem so distant
just when I need You by my side,
when I yearn to place my head
on the chest of mercy
where I find rest
when weary,
forlorn,
lost.
 
Lord
Jesus,
Prince of Peace,
You understand
the depth of my pain
exacerbated by
the knowledge I ran from You
instead of heeding the answer
You so graciously supplied for me;
knowing I would return to this spot
You waited with arms open wide,
full of such compassion
which can’t be compared.
If ever this gift
is taken for
granted, Lord,
forgive
me.

 
jbh
4-22-2012

Author Notes A special thanks to VMarguarite for the use of "Praying for Strength" to enhance this work. Thanks for reading. Love, Jan


Chapter 3
Psalm of Dismay

By Rdfrdmom2


Lord, it's been a terrible day
despicable people along the way
yet, You bid me love them anyway
just what am I supposed to say
when hateful voices, like donkeys bray
"You're not good enough to play!"
'cause my clothes do not display
I'm any better than a stray

Lord, I'm all alone here in my pad
not a single visitor have I had
I promise, Lord, I've not been bad
although there are times I'm really mad
while being used by some self-righteous cad
claiming to love me, just like my dad

Lord, as I'm down here on my knees
I pray You hear these tormented pleas
of one too young for an old man's squeeze
Lord, I beg You, grant me release
from men who swear that I'm a tease
when my body goes into a freeze
and I won't whisper, "pretty please"

Lord, I don't mean to make you fret
but my heart's not done crying yet
could You send me a private jet
so I can hide somewhere like Tibet

Lord, I hear compassion in Your sigh
and, is that a tear I see there in Your eye
I thank You so for coming by
to heal my wounds even while I cried
so easily You could have remained on high
instead, to the cross, Your blood was applied
when, for our sins, You chose to die

Yes, Lord, it was a frightful day
but You have wiped my tears away
and reminded me that, as I pray,
Your grace and mercy mold the clay
of my life into a beautiful display
which honors the majesty of You, Yahwee

                      jbh
                      4-23-2012


Author Notes A special thanks to Smurphgirl for the use of "Sad Little Girl" for the purpose of enhancing this work. Thanks for reading. love, jan


Chapter 4
Psalm of Release

By Rdfrdmom2



Lord, please forgive me
I’m stuck here in my tracks
can’t find hope for my future
‘cause I’m always looking back;
I’m still fighting demons
that You’ve already slayed
forgetting grace and mercy
You’ve constantly displayed
 
Lord, please come get me
I’m mired here in this muck
no energy for climbing out
this time I’m really stuck;
my life is so entangled
I scarcely read Your Word
nor listen to the praise songs
sweetest sounds I’ve ever heard
 
Lord, You’ve got to help me
before I lose my mind
it seems the more I try to do
the further I fall behind;
my thoughts are all a-jumbled
tiny puzzle pieces they may be
but there’s no pretty picture
to provide any clarity
 
Lord, please come and visit
while I’m here on bended knee
I know I have the answers
somewhere deep inside of me;
unlock the Holy Spirit
You put inside my heart
on the night I let You in
and begged You not depart
 
Lord, please grant me strength
to assist those who need me
please block them from ever knowing
just how weak I tend to be;
let them find a sense of hope
when they look deep in my eyes
may they catch a glimpse of You
as we raise hands to the skies
 
Lord, please forgive me
I have nothing left to give
pain constantly wracks my body
there’s no reason left to live;
You’ve given so many blessings
many more than I deserve
but, Lord, I’m really sorry
this life, I can’t preserve
 
Yes, Lord, that’s all I have
there’s nothing left to say
except thanks for always listening
whenever I come to pray;
do I have a minute
now that I’ve laid my soul quite bare
of course I do, my precious Lord,
what would you like to share?

 
                     jbh
                3-6-2012

 
 
 

Author Notes This was written on my way to therapy as I was reflecting on the things I needed to discuss that afternoon. Before I knew it, this piece is what evolved. A special thanks to dlwagner for the use of "Stuck in the Mud" to enhance this work. Thanks for reading. love, jan


Chapter 5
Psalm of Worldliness

By Rdfrdmom2

Lord,
humbly I come before You
fully trusting You will keep Your promises
in spite of my indiscretions
 
Lord,
self-doubt sometimes plagues my mind
as I tumble headlong into darkness,
yet, when I reach out
You catch me,
providing support and unfailing love,
renewing my hope and cheer
through comfort only You can share
 
Lord,
too often I allow myself
to be shaped by the world
instead of transformed by You
allowing the lies of this world
to become more important than Your truths
 
Lord,
how extraordinarily gracious You are
granting me an infinite number of second chances
when I am undeserving of even one –
Your audacious love is full of grace and mercy
so much more than I’ll ever comprehend
 
Lord,
on my bended knees
I lift my eyes towards the heavens
and praise Your most Holy name
for You are my everything
I love you, Lord
Amen
 
jbh
5-27-2012

Author Notes Speaks for itself. A special thanks to Anne for the use of "Cry World". Thanks for reading.


Chapter 6
Psalm of Separation

By Rdfrdmom2

Lord
 
apart from You
I am totally lost
unable to find my way;
 
although
 
there are many
who would happily say
they like me better that way
 
I know
 
Satan leads them
as they take me further
from the peace I find with You;
 
better
 
to have nothing
but the peace which passes
understanding, even if
 
sometimes
 
it means the world
will seek to destroy it
for, without that peace, likely
 
I
 
would turn away
from what I know is true—
You will never leave my side;
 
still
 
I kneel to pray
seeking Your forgiveness,
asking for help before I
 
fail

 
jbh
6-25-2012

 
Message within the poem:  “Lord, although I know better, sometimes I still fail.”

 

Author Notes
A special thanks to crystal clear for the use of "The Peace We Seek". This was written while I was tied up in a horrible traffic tie-up Monday. It felt better than ranting and raving about something I could not control. Thanks for reading. Love, jan
Lexibridge Format:

Line 1: 4 syllables
Line 2: 6 syllables
Line 3: 7 syllables

Bridge

Repeat format
*A bridge may show above the opening line as well as after the last line according to the wishes of the writer.
**The bridge may connect and form a message of its own but it is not a requirement of the format.
***Poem should include at least 3 sets of the three line format


Chapter 7
Psalm of Defense

By Rdfrdmom2

        My God, I need your strength to shore up my weaknesses so the enemy cannot exploit them. Let not my desires lead me into temptation. Help me stand against the lies of Satan by girding me with the belt of truth.
        Provide me, also, the breastplate of righteousness that I might hear the Holy Spirit lead me away from strife, jealousy, promiscuity, drunkenness, and other depravities. Help me to put on my gospel shoes even when it may not be the popular thing to do.
        Holy Father, help me to mold my Shield of Faith with the knowledge You will never leave nor forsake me. Adorn my Helmet of Salvation with Your mercy so I can keep my head together in the midst of life’s battles.
        Help me to understand Your Word, God, for Your Word shall be the Sword of my Spirit. Have Your Spirit firmly nudge me when I don’t spend enough time reading and studying Your Word.
        Thank You, Merciful Father, for providing me the tools I need to defend myself from the enemy. All praise and glory belongs to You,

                                                              Amen
 
jbh
6-17-2012

Author Notes A special thanks to Loyd Taylor for the use of "Family Bible" to enhance this work. Thanks for reading. Love, Jan


Chapter 8
Psalm of Innocence Lost

By Rdfrdmom2

Lord, here I am
broken and beautiful
at least that’s what You have said
 
Jesus
 
it is so hard
for me to see the same –
tears cloud my eyes and no one
 
sees
 
the wounded girl
hidden inside of me
once so happy and carefree;
 
pain
 
then descended
on her innocent soul
much too often to make sense
 
in
 
a normal world;
shame became reality,
shattering all she had known;
 
smiles
 
no longer meant
people could be trusted,
that all was well in the world;
 
even
 
those who meant well
were kept at a distance –
why let anyone get close
 
when
 
betrayal had
become reality
instead of the warm comfort
 
I
 
should be able
to sit and remember;
instead, so many demons
 
try
 
a sneak attack,
teaming up as they dare
believe they will be able
 
to
 
not only kick
me while I am laid flat
but will work together to
 
hide
 
when others come,
leaving me defenseless,
but Jesus will take care of
 
it
 
jbh
6-11—2012

 
Message within the poem: “Jesus sees pain in smiles even when I try to hide it.”

 
Inspired by the Mark Schulz song, Broken and Beautiful

 

Author Notes Special thanks to Timster for the use of "Please Don't Hurt Me" to enhance this work. This is a lexibridge.

Lexibridge Format:

Line 1: 4 syllables
Line 2: 6 syllables
Line 3: 7 syllables

Bridge

Repeat format
*A bridge may show above the opening line as well as after the last line according to the wishes of the writer.
**The bridge may connect and form a message of its own but it is not a requirement of the format.
***Poem should include at least 3 sets of the three line format

Thanks for reading. Love, Jan


Chapter 9
Psalm for Those Who Question

By Rdfrdmom2

I do not know
nor do I comprehend
the depths of the amazing

love

given freely
no matter the reason
I come stumbling to You;

would

understanding
change my approach to You,
have me believing I could

change

things on a whim,
adversely affecting
those daring to block my way ~

the

awesome power
would likely corrupt me;
responsibility for

world

peace belonging
to those who can discern
reason from theology;

why

do mere mortals
spend time debating false
evidence against Jesus,

not

even taking
time to appreciate
the wonders of creation?

start

believing in
the Creator who gave
this creation the things we

now

take for granted;
how arrogant we are ~
trying to make You like us.

jbh
7-12-12

Message within the poem: "Love would change the world; why not start now?"

Author Notes A special thanks to Sange for the use of "Questionable Sunset Sky" to enhance this work. See the ? in the sky? thanks for reading. love, jan

Lexibridge Format: (Invented by Rdfrdmom2)

Line 1: 4 syllables
Line 2: 6 syllables
Line 3: 7 syllables

Bridge

Repeat format
*A bridge may show above the opening line as well as after the last line according to the wishes of the writer.
**The bridge may connect and form a message of its own but it is not a requirement of the format.
***Poem should include at least 3 sets of the three line format


Chapter 10
Psalm Regarding Tragedy

By Rdfrdmom2

Lord,
crumbled here on the floor
in the midst of another mindless tragedy,
overwhelming in both its current scope
and its lifelong effect on
primary and secondary victims,
 
I find myself too weak to move,
my mind screaming, “Not again, God,
surely You would not allow this to happen
so close to the Columbine community
which only thirteen years ago suffered
the worst high school massacre
in the history of the United States.”
 
My God,
how many are broken beyond measure,
knowing not where to turn
for peace and comfort,
believing You have forsaken them?
 
Yet, Lord,
those of us who dare cry out
a loving, merciful God
would have prevented this tragedy
are the same ones who would decry
being mere puppets on a string
or tin soldiers moved about
in some playhouse fantasy arranged
solely for Your amusement.
 
Instead, Lord,
You grant us choices:
this world or eternity,
discontent or fulfillment,
hate or love,
prince of darkness or Prince of Peace?
 
So now, my Lord,
I rise to my knees
praying for peace and comfort
as this world becomes too much
for me to handle on my own;
asking forgiveness for ever doubting You;
thanking You for allowing me
to choose to ask You into my heart
and for Your loving me enough to do so;
for allowing this tragedy to occur,
since someone made this horribly misguided choice,
 in a region that just might know best
how to help another community heal.
 
In the midst of mind-numbing violence,
we may never find satisfactory answers
to quench minds thirsty for
peace and comfort;
yet, those who trust in You
will eventually find rest
for You, Jehovah God,
are faithful and
You always keep Your promises.
 
jbh
7-22-12

Author Notes There are no answers for mindless violence. This is my humble attempt to provide some comfort and hope to a hurting world. A special thanks to Angelheart for the use of "When Life Gets In the Way" to enhance this work. Thank you for reading. Love,


Chapter 11
Psalm for the Depressed

By Rdfrdmom2

bereft, alone
heartbroken, unglued
why have I been driven
from all I’ve known?
 
confusing thoughts
unsettling me
why can’t I sort things
into sensible files?
 
pretending good
outweighs evil
when did I begin
deceiving myself?
 
priorities
cannot be ordered
when did everything
lose importance?
 
shattered dreams
haunting my days
what demon slipped in
and stole all hope?
 
Lord, all is lost
in this crazy world
when did I decide
to throw in the towel?
 
My child, listen
I’m sure you’ve heard
when was it you stopped
believing My Word?
 
I know you’re tired
and feel so alone
did I not promise
I’d always be here?
 
allow Me to clear
the junk from your head
why don’t you fill yourself
with My mercy and grace?
 
if you follow Me
good will beat out evil
does not Revelations
promise the victory is won?
 
now give Me your hand
lay your head on My shoulder
why not allow Me
to show what’s important?
 
believe Me, My child
you are never alone
why not give Me your demons
and let Me welcome you home?

 
jbh
8-15-2012

Author Notes Those of us who battle both atypical depression and some level of dysthymic disorder often find themselves walking a very high, thin tightrope without a net especially if the atypical depression is not diagnosed for a prolonged period of time. Without my personal relationship with Christ (His words are in red) I doubt seriously I would still be on this side of the veil, as my friend, Louise, would say. A special thanks to pattigirl for the use of "Depression" to enhance this work.


Chapter 12
Psalm for Those Waiting ...

By Rdfrdmom2

Author Note:No matter how this goes, all is well with my soul. Love, Jan

Psalm for Those Awaiting Test Results

Lord,
 
You invite me
to learn to be thankful
in every circumstance ~
 
how
 
much must I trust
to honestly do that  -
to sleep without worrying?
 
Should
 
I smile through tears
in spite of quaking heart
as I await test results?
 
I
 
admit my fears;
even as I give You
the issue, I feel I must
 
pray
 
the biopsy
proves this little nodule
is in no way cancerous.
 
jbh
8-25-2012
 
Message within the poem: "Lord, how should I pray?"

Author Notes I have spent most of the summer of 2012 going from one medical facility to another for a series of tests & examinations. These tests have included, but are not limited to, extensive blood work; two CT scans; two MRIs; two mammograms; and, an ultrasound - not to mention all the poking & prodding of physical examinations. I am scheduled to have a biopsy on September 4th to determine if further action is necessary.

I was with my daughter, Cindy, helping her prepare her classroom for the new school year, when I received the call I needed to have a 2nd mammogram and possibly an ultrasound. Intuitively I felt the need to be strong & show grace for the moment to be a positive example for her if she should ever face a similar situation.

I have given the situation over to God as well as to give thanks for the situation for fear cannot live in the same place as thankfulness. I will be posting a letter to Lexi, my granddaughter, soon, entitled "Giving Thanks for All Things" which will provide more information about this. Thanks for reading. Love, Jan


Chapter 13
For Those Who Are Withdrawn

By Rdfrdmom2

You
sit beside me
waiting ever so patiently
while I withdraw
further and further into myself
 
I
don’t want you here
but need you to remain
a mere hair’s breadth from me
close enough to provide strength
far enough to allow me space –
or the illusion thereof
 
You
gently dry tears
which have been flowing
in tiny rivulets
melting the edges of the cocoon
I have so carefully wound
about myself
 
I
am relieved
for early emergence
 from a chrysalis
forever cripples its occupant –
I don’t want you here
I need you to remain
 
You
subtly nod to your left
I lean to my right,
lay my head on your shoulder
and do not recoil
 
I
find myself relaxing
peace filling
every fiber of my being
finally, I understand –
I do want you here
thank you for remaining
 
jbh
9-1-12

Author Notes A special thanks to Echo7 for the use of "The Awakening" to enhance this writing. Thanks for reading. Love, Jan


Chapter 14
Psalm for Those Facing Death

By Rdfrdmom2

To be absent from the body
        is to be present with the Lord
is not a fancy story
        it’s in His Holy Word
 
If you’re having any doubts about
        these things deep in your heart
remember how He often said
        from us, He’d not depart
 
So, if the thought of dying
        is slowly driving you insane
you may find some comfort
        in this Truth that shall remain
 
To be absent from the body
        is to be present with the Lord
is Christ’s faithful promise
        held in His written sword

 
                   jbh
              9-18-2012

Author Notes I wrote this for the memorial program of my husband's Aunt Jean (his mom's twin sister). She has always been very special to me. A special thanks to Ramesh 19 for the use of "Heaven Bound" to enhance this writing. Thanks for reading. love, jan


Chapter 15
Psalm of Gratitude

By Rdfrdmom2

Lord,
You come
when I cry,
even those times
when I am at fault;
You provide the balance
much needed in the chaos
of a world which has lost its way.
When I am distraught, You offer peace,
when I am hungry, You give me food,
when I am sad, You dry my tears,
when I fall, You pick me up.
You never leave my side;
You never give up
on this sinner
no matter
what I
do.
 
 
jbh
10-14-12

Author Notes Picture by Janice B. Holland, It reflects a quiet place to sit and wait for my Savior to come and sit a spell with me. Thanks for reading. Jan


Chapter 16
Psalm of Reclamation

By Rdfrdmom2

Lord,
I’m so weary, my nerves are frayed
a blaming spirit I’ve oft displayed
but through it all, I know you’ve stayed
thank You, Lord, for loving me
thank You, Lord, for loving me
 
I’ve been tested from head to toe
since July second, but that You know
and there are more tests to undergo
thank You, Lord, for holding me
thank You, Lord, for holding me
 
My tongue’s been sharp, my tone’s been worse
a look from me could fetch a hearse
sometimes I start thinking it’s all a curse
thank You, Lord, for helping me
thank You, Lord, for helping me
 
I awoke this morning, saw the bright sun
reminding me this battle’s been won
for You gave us Your only Son
thank You, Lord, for redeeming me
thank You, Lord, for redeeming me
 
My strength’s returning, I’m less uptight
because You talked with me tonight
sharing that my future’s bright
thank You, Lord, for saving me
thank You, Lord, for saving me

 
jbh
10-13-2012

Author Notes A special thanks to VMarguarite for the use of "Praying for Strength" to enhance this work. Thank you for reading. love, jan


Chapter 17
Psalm of Servant Evangelism

By Rdfrdmom2

through servant evangelism
we share the love
of Jesus Christ
in simple ways
 
instead of requesting money
we provide gifts,
encouragement,
invitations
 
through surrounding communities:
asking nothing
except the chance
to show His love
 
jbh
10-14-2012


Chapter 18
Psalm for Those Afraid to Spea

By Rdfrdmom2

Author Note:Courage is not the absence of fear but rather there is somethiing more important than my fear driving me. --Ambrose Redmon

sometimes
my comfort zone
provides an excuse
for remaining still
in the midst of chaos
even as the ionized air
screams for the voice of reason
resonating within me
 
just
as the tiniest spark
reveals an enemy’s presence
in the blackest of nights
one voice of truth
can invigorate many
convicting them to leave
comfort zones behind
 
until
cojoined sparks
become the blaze
forever changing our world
for the better

 
jbh
10-16-2012

Author Notes A special thanks to Anne for the use of "Chaos" to enhance this work. Thanks for reading. Jan


Chapter 19
Psalm of Praise for Tears

By Rdfrdmom2

 
Lord,
somehow my tears
provide salve for my wounds
no matter
how raw and tender they be
 
the rivulets
cleanse all toxins
from the depths of my soul
even as
they rinse grime from my eyes
 
allowing me
once again to view the world
with the clarity necessary
to follow
the path You would have me take

 
jbh
1-8-2013

Author Notes A special thanks to photobeat for the use of "Tears at Sunset" to enhance this work. thanks for reading. love, jan


Chapter 20
Psalm for Those Who Puzzle

By Rdfrdmom2

Father,
trying to regroup
after completely falling apart
seems like completing a puzzle
only to discover
several pieces missing –
some forever
others discovered later
 
yet,
all too often
the puzzle is trashed,
deemed worthless
due to a few holes
in its tapestry
 
how often, Lord,
do we do the same
with those who take too long
to reassemble fractured lives –
instead of being Jesus for them
we leave them for Satan’s curbside pick-up
 
sometimes, Lord,
that broken life is mine –
help me to remember
You believed
I was someone
worth dying for
 
and, that, in effect,
completes the puzzle
 
jbh
1-8-2013

Author Notes A special thanks to Anne for the use of "The Puzzle" to enhance this work. Thanks for reading. Love, jan


Chapter 21
Psalm for Those Who Worship

By Rdfrdmom2

Lord,
I am so humbled
to live in a country
which allows me to worship You
this morning
here
in this sanctuary
filled with Your people
 
Your people, Lord,
who make up the church –
not this building
in which we worship
for we could sow and spread
Your word
most anywhere
 
You charge us
to be Your hands,
Your feet, Your voice
for those who need You –
to feed the hungry
clothe the naked
house the homeless
love the unloveable
share Your word
to souls starving for hope 
 
Lord,
let us never leave this place
the same as we arrived –
rather, open our hearts
to be more like You
to go out
and light this dreary world
so others desire
what we have
and are led to You
by our example
 
jbh
1-13-2013

Author Notes A special thanks, as always, to one of my favorite artists, V Marguarite, for the use of "Spiritual Praise" to enhance this work. Thank you for reading. Love, Jan


Chapter 22
Here I Am, Lord

By Rdfrdmom2

 Here I am, Lord
fallen, but forgiven
how can that possibly be
 
captured by your mercy
none that I deserve
You picked me up, took me in
when the world said I had no worth
 
even though I gave my all
it never was enough
soon there were no pieces left
for me to help myself
 
everywhere I look it seemed
there was more that needed doing
sweeping me in endless circles
that finally wore me down
 
in the midst of despair and doom
I believed I’d never rise
but when Your hand reached down to mine
I looked straight into heaven’s eyes
 
then You called me by my name
though I’d never seen Your face
yet, I knew beyond a doubt
it was the look of grace
 
Lord, here I am
standing full of faith
thankful for your mercy
and the most amazing grace
 
no longer torn by worldly needs
nor taunted by its jeers
that small, still voice of Yours
is all I need to hear
 
Here I am, Lord
 in small ways or in large
although I am not perfect
 I am surely Yours

 

Author Notes I will add this to Psalms for the Journey at a later date.


Chapter 23
Psalm for Those Broken Inside

By Rdfrdmom2

broken inside
nowhere to hide
Lord, how I’ve tried
but something  has died
 
night turns to day
no tears to display
they’ve turned into stone
now I’m all alone
 
the tempest has passed
my mind has been gassed
what is memory, now?
I’ve forgotten somehow
 
all of the good parts
left within their hearts
included my best
now I cannot rest
 
while still not crazy
suppose I’m too lazy
to jump on the peg
complete that last leg
 
I hear there is laughter
in the hereafter
I doubt I’ll be there
why would God care
 
about a person like me
who just would not see
that small mustard seed
would suffice for my need
 
broken inside
nowhere to hide
I’m down on my knees
Lord, help me, please

 
5-12-13

Author Notes A special thanks to VMarguarite for the use of "Reaching for Strength" to enhance this piece. Thanks for reading, jan


Chapter 24
When I Lose My Way

By Rdfrdmom2

When I lose my way
there You are
reaching out for me
 
wondering, waiting,
watching me
as I tear about
 
with no sense of hope,
direction,
or power to change
 
somewhere, deep inside,
Your presence
quietly whispers
 
“Reach out to find peace,
mercy, grace,
it’s all here for you –
 
not something to earn,
freely given,
nothing you must do
 
except claim My Name –
I am yours;
you are always Mine.”
 
jbh
1-30-15

 
 

Author Notes Will add to my book, Psalms for the Journey. A special thanks to annie-angel for the use of "Pleading Eyes" to enhance this piece. Jan


Chapter 25
Eyes

By Rdfrdmom2

Author Note:Be sensitive to the needs of your grieving friends.

 
The light in her eyes has dimmed
            the half moon smile of her lips
                        no longer warmed by the sparklers
                                    which once greeted you
            with the hope of New Year’s Eve
                        and the grace of the Star of David
 
Her eyes
            devoid of interaction
                        with anyone who refuses to share her pain
            no energy to be expended
                        on those who believe grief
                                    has timelines and parameters
            which everyone is somehow to magically meet
                        perchance she was to feel alive
                                    on day ninety-five
 
Our eyes met the other night
            hers invited me in
                        as a kindred soul
            who has been in similar straits –
                        people not understanding
                                    grief has no bounds,
                                                no timelines,
                                                            no true instructions
            one does not just get over it
                        it is just not that easy, my friend
 
Our eyes glistened
            I listened quietly
                        while she shared her fears,
                                    expressed what she was able to do –
                                                the things that were too soon;
            we spoke of legacies
                        which ought not be tossed away,
                                    decisions that could wait,
                                                actions taken for clarity
 
Our eyes met again
            before we parted
                        I glimpsed the tiniest flicker
                                    I have hope

 
                                    jbh
                              8-8-2011
 
for my dear friend, Mitzi

Author Notes Grieving has a life of its own. A special thanks to Linda Bickston for the use of Windows of the soul. Love, Jan


Chapter 26
Jaded Mirror

By Rdfrdmom2

she gets up every morning
looks into the mirror
and fails to see herself
as she truly is

looking back at her
is a beautiful lady
that she cannot see
through the jaded mirror in her mind

gentle, loving woman
seeing only the scars
from her past
without the scarlet that's been applied

when told she is loved
she questions why ~
feelings of unworthiness
stand in acceptance's path

instead of the truth
she listens to a world
waiting to condemn her
just because it can

then she hears the whisper
"you are worthy
in My eyes
even though I know
who you are,
where've you been
what you've done
how you got here

use My eyes
as the mirror of your life
to see yourself
as you really are
and you will find peace
with yourself"

Author Notes All too often, society makes us feel we are not "enough"; however, God says we are perfect as we are. A special thanks to booklotto for the use of "Let's Face It" to enhance this piece.


Chapter 27
How Should I Pray

By Rdfrdmom2

Lord,

You invite me
to learn to be thankful
in every circumstance ~

how

much must I trust
to honestly do that -
to sleep without worrying?

Should

I smile through tears
in spite of quaking heart
as I await test results?

I

admit my fears;
even as I give You
the issue, I feel I must

pray

the biopsy
proves this little nodule
is in no way cancerous.

Author Notes Wrote this while awaiting the results of a breast biopsy (which came back fine). The poem within the poem is "Lord, how shall I pray?" This poem format is called a lexibridge, one I designed for my granddaughter, Lexi, when she was a baby, The lexibridge is written in the following format:
line 1: 4 syllables
line 2: 6 syllables
line 3: 7 syllables

bridge

repeat lines 1, 2 and 3
then add another bridge The poem may begin with a bridge or may end with a bridge (both or neither) as determined by the author. The bridge may make a separate verse of its own but is not a requirement.

A special thanks to Barb Baker for the use of "Believe in Prayer" to enhance this writing.


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