By Rdfrdmom2
Dear Lexi:
You are my first-born grandchild: the daughter of my daughter, who also happens to be my only child. Grandpa Aubrey and I were told we could not have children by many doctors, yet your mom was born on September 5, 1981. One day you will be old enough for me to share that story with you. Now, it seems, my miracle child has had a miraculous birth of her own. I can hardly wait to begin sharing those stories with you.
First, I need to share a little secret with you. Your Nanny Janice isn’t as young as she used to be. My memory isn’t as good as it once was, either. Instead of taking the chance of forgetting something important I want to share with you, I’ve decided to write this book just for you. It’s actually the second one as I wrote a short picture book to capture your first twenty-four hours. I’m putting one away for safe-keeping for when you can read.
Your special book will have stories and poems about your life. It will also include some of my recollections of your mom at the same age as you are when I’m writing just so you will know more about her as you mature. I also want to share with you hopes, prayers, affirmations, and encouragement to help keep you strong in your journey to become a woman of charity, courage, conviction, hope, love, and faith.
Above all else, I want you to know you have been loved by your parents, grandparents, extended family members, friends, and so many others from the moment any of us knew you had been conceived. I’ll be sharing more about that along the way, too. God knew and loved you before you were ever born then safely delivered you into the loving arms of your family. I pledge to love you unconditionally for as long as I live.
Welcome to the family, Miss Alexis Elaine Devers. You are the first in the next generation—the first grandchild on both sides of your parents’ families. We are all ecstatic you are here.
My eternal love,
Nanny Janice
| Author Notes | Thank you, Carolisa, for the beautiful artwork. A special thanks to Judian James for the inspiration to do this for my granddaughter. |
By Rdfrdmom2
Alexis, Alexis, what do you see?
I see everyone
Looking at me
Alexis, Alexis, what do you hear?
I hear my name
Sounding very dear
Alexis, Alexis, what do you smell?
I smell mommy’s milk
It surely is swell
Alexis, Alexis, what do you taste?
I taste mom’s pure love
With not a drop to waste
Alexis, Alexis, what do you feel?
I feel daddy’s love
Powerful and real
Alexis, Alexis, welcome to our lair
Mom and dad can barely wait
Your arrival with others to share
Alexis, Alexis, you’re our dream come true
Our family wouldn’t be complete
Were it not for you
Alexis, Alexis, with your hair so red
Couldn’t get here naturally
Came by Cesarean instead
Alexis, Alexis, you are one pure joy
When the doc first saw you
Mom thought he called you boy
Alexis, Alexis, with your eyes of blue
There is nothing in this world
We would not do for you
jbh
1-25-09
2:30 a.m.
| Author Notes | Baby Bear, Baby Bear was the first book I read to my granddaughter once she got out of the womb. After the third reading at o'dark thirty Sunday morning, Baby Bear (yes, we have a stuffed Baby Bear that goes with Bill Martin, Jr.'s wonderful book) and Alexis began helping me write this as we walked around the hospital room in an effort to burp her (Lexi, not the bear). This is what eventually evolved. I have to give Baby Bear and Alexis partial credit for the writing of this pastiche. |
By Rdfrdmom2
attachment theory
sweetest moment of new life
breast-feeding daughter
1:45 a.m.
watching baby girl
nursing from mother’s breast milk
total contentment
3:45 a.m.
| Author Notes | Early Sunday morning, I was swept with such emotion as I watched my daughter nurse her daughter just as I had her 27+ years ago. The 1:45 a.m. piece came as I watched Cindy tenderly burping Lexi after she nursed. The second one came when I realized Lexi had fallen asleep while nursing because she was so contented to be in the warmth of her mommy's bosom. Special thanks to channeled for the great art work. |
By Rdfrdmom2
three generations
mother, daughter, granddaughter
love’s purest circle
twenty-six hour hell
exhausting delivery
daughter from heaven
| Author Notes | I realize these two may not seem to connect like those in the previous chapter; however, the only three people in the family who endured the entire 26 hour hell at the hospital were Cindy, Lexi and myself. All others came and went. I selected Carolisa's "Striving" for this piece as all three of us had to overcome great odds to be born--to become a chapter or two later--all were born by cesarean section--and all have a special purpose, I believe, for surviving and being here. Also, Cindy's nickname is Sunshine, which is a subtitle of this piece. Besides, I particularly like Carolisa's work. |
By Rdfrdmom2
Snug
snug on my shoulder
sleeping soundly; music plays
bonding time for us
1-27-09
| Author Notes | It began as my trying to burp Lexi since she didn't seem to want to do so for her mom. It turned in to her sleeping soundly on my shoulder for about 90 minutes: ahhhh, the simple joys of being Nanny Jan. |
By Rdfrdmom2
rocking granddaughter
thinking about our future
great expectations
1-29-09
| Author Notes | I was rocking Lexi in Cindy's glider tonight while David cooked dinner and Cindy read some things I brought her from her classroom. As we sat in the darkened room (so she would go to sleep), I began reflecting on our days ahead and was filled with great joy. Thanks to channeled for the great art work. I hope to figure out how to get the pixel thing worked out so I can show you what this little angel looks like. Thanks for reading. |
By Rdfrdmom2
baby rocks
her grandmother rolls
dancing hearts
1-30-09
| Author Notes | This morning, I was sharing with friends at an elementary school how Lexi and I often "dance" after I've burped her. This led into a discussion of how one of my friends had adopted twins about 13 months ago. Just before I left to go do math Standards of Learning tutoring in my daughter's school (and classroom), my friend commented, "Babies rock." I just grinned and replied, "Yes, they do." Her comment has played in my head all day, finally resulting in the above haiku/senryu. I truly don't have a clue exactly how to distinguish one from the other so I try not to label them when I can avoid it. A special thanks to Carolisa for her artwork. It was the closest I could get to the image of "dancing hearts". Thanks for reading. |
By Rdfrdmom2
Once you were conceived, all things changed
lives rearranged
there was to be
a family
Once news spread you would be a girl
new little pearl
not too much pink
said mom with wink
Once born, after hearing your voice
all did rejoice
finally cheer
happiness here
1-31-09
| Author Notes |
Little Lexi was born by Cesarean section after her mom had been through 26 difficult hours of stress, including induced labor that did not go well. Every time she had a contraction, the baby's heart decelerated. Cindy had to have oxygen several times to calm Lexi's stress level. As soon as the doctor opened the womb, he found the cause for Lexi's distress--her cord had gotten wrapped around her neck. That is the inspiration for the last verse.
I have never written a "minute" poem and am not sure I've done this correctly. Any suggestions are more than welcome. A special thanks to lisajames for the use of her wonderful picture, "joy". Thanks for reading. |
By Rdfrdmom2
watching football game
everyone held the baby
super time for all
2-1-09
| Author Notes |
Aubrey and I went next door to Cindy & David's to watch the Super Bowl with them. Over the course of the first half, each of us spent time bonding with Lexi. She was asleep on David's stomach when we arrived. After a few minutes, David handed her off to Grandpa Aubrey. When his arm was almost numb, she was passed to me. Of course, once she showed signs of hunger, Cindy became the receiver since Lexi is being nursed. Lexi was named the Most Valuable Player for the night.
Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers for their 27 - 23 victory over the Arizona Cardinals. Although the game was great, the evening with Lexi was even better. |
By Rdfrdmom2
face red as your hair
bent in half with intense pain
drink must have been bad
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
dad sleeping on couch
mom’s last nerve is wearing thin
colicky baby
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
grandparents
came by for visit
help arrived
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
asleep on my chest
as your mom did years ago
now parents can rest
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
precious little one
we hurt whenever you hurt
you are life to us
jbh
2-12-09
| Author Notes | I haven't been online much of late because Lexi has been experiencing what we thought was colic but is beginning to look more like Reflux. She's slept on my chest once a week so Cindy and David could get some sleep. Even in these times, she's just such a joy to be around. Thanks for reading. Thanks to lisajames for the perfect picture for this piece. |
By Rdfrdmom2
precious little girl
sitting with your family
fifth generation
first Sunday in church
contemporary service
adding voice to praise
very special day
your great-grandfather’s birthday
sense of irony
connections
so interwoven
in your life
love of your parents
like that of our Lord, Jesus
unconditional
this sanctuary
provides lifelong memories
for those who believe
innocent baby
dedicate your life to Him
gently He’s calling
jbh
3-8-09
| Author Notes | Lexi is the fifth generation of women to attend my church. It was most special she happened to go the first time on the anniversary of my dad's birthday. He died seven years ago on March 21st. Thanks for reading. |
By Rdfrdmom2
Dear Lexi:
On March 7, 2009, you became the third generation of women in your family to attend an H-E-A-R-T of Suffolk function. While you won’t remember it, there are pictures of you sitting on the Applebee’s table taking it all in. Some might say I used the occasion as another excuse to take pictures of you. I’d just smile and say, “Who needs an excuse?”
Your mom is secretary of this group. We’ve gave her a little time off to birth you and to provide you a few weeks of her uninterrupted attention. Your Nanny Jan is president and founder. There will be plenty of opportunities for us to discuss all that as you get older.
The Suffolk Applebee’s allowed us to have a Pancake Breakfast to raise funds for those who have been sexually assaulted. Your mom and dad joined us to eat. You came to be seen! For many of our members, it was the first time to meet you in person. Needless to say, you were a hit. Too late, I realized I should have used your being there as a marketing tool to get more people to the breakfast.
This was my third H-E-A-R-T of Suffolk - related event since you turned ten days old. Many have questioned whether I would continue my work with this and connected organizations after you arrived. The question is asked even more frequently now that it’s become public knowledge I’m going to become your full-time sitter on March 17th.
It is likely I provided the best answer to that question when I spoke to the Whaleyville Ruritan Club on February 2, 2009. It was the first day in your short life I didn’t spend any time with you as my schedule made it clear I would likely be late if I stole a few minutes with you first. Since I was representing H-E-A-R-T of Suffolk and not myself, I had to make the sacrifice. Of course, I took pictures of you to help with the withdrawal pains.
I gave a short testimonial about my childhood, and then shared how H-E-A-R-T of Suffolk came into existence. I provided examples of how we work with victims of sexual assault and rape by assisting them in regaining a sense of security and hope. I told them how some of our members also volunteered for RESPONSE, a Sexual Assault Crisis Hotline. I explained that two of us served on the Suffolk Crime Line Board. Next, I stated I had recently been named to both
Questions and answers followed. Most were about the organization; some about how sexual assault crosses all cultures, economic groups, ethnicities, sexes, professions, etc. Then, as it inevitably does, it came:
“Janice, why do you continue to do such intense work and speak out as you do if you believe this problem will never be eradicated—especially when you are retired and have that sweet granddaughter to take up all your time?”
With tears in my eyes, I leaned over and picked up your Baby Brag book full of pictures. On the cover is a close-up of you on the day you were born. I held it up for all to see and said:
“Just as every starfish thrown back into the sea was thankful even though thousands of its friends and families were left behind, I must believe every victim we assist is also grateful. Who is to say the predators we take off the streets might have one day crossed precious little Lexi’s path if I had given up the fight? I am compelled to continue this fight not only for her but for all the “innocents” of the world. Thank you.”
There was not a dry eye in the room, Lexi, as I gently laid your Brag Book down. As I sat down amidst the applause, I was deeply moved by the many men who had tears running down their cheeks.
Lexi, I am proud to tell you your mom and I are convinced Hope indeed Exists After Rape Trauma. Most importantly we work hard to prevent it so no one has to find out for themselves.
Love you forever and ever,
Nanny Jan
| Author Notes | I want Lexi to know who her family is and what drives them as well as our thoughts about her as she grows up. Every now and then I will stray from poems and pieces strictly about her to things I feel are important for her to know about us. Thanks for reading and caring. A special thanks to channeled for the use of Two of Hearts. This artwork is so special for more reasons than I can share here. |
By Rdfrdmom2
smiling at nanny
while filling your diaper
such divergent gifts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
may I have this dance
your head can rest next to mine
will not mash your toes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
you gaze into my eyes
holding me spellbound again
my heart is all yours
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dancing you to sleep
is a newfound simple joy
more to discover
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
every day with you
is like dreaming while awake
best is still to come
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
jbh
3-12-09
| Author Notes | At 7 weeks old, Lexi is starting to recognize her parents, her grandfather and me by voice and sight and lets us know by her charming smile. Besides her reflux, she now has thrush resulting in treatments for both mom and baby. When not feeling well, we have to be creative in finding ways to soothe her. She seems to enjoy "dancing" with me and has begun placing one of her tiny arms tightly around my neck as we waltz (I use that term loosely here) about her living room. With the reflux issue, "poops" have taken on cause for celebration for the entire family. Ahhh, the simple things in life. A special thanks to channeled for the use of her picture, "Grandma's Girl" as Lexi surely is my girl. Thanks for reading. |
By Rdfrdmom2
Dear Lexi:
On Friday, March 20th, we took our first excursion together. Of course, I had to get your mom’s permission, a list of instructions a mile long (I suppose she’s forgotten I raised her), and had to trade vehicles with her because she’s not convinced my car seat is as safe as hers. Ever the teacher, she even gave me a quick lesson on how to properly place you in your car seat before I took you out of the house. I just smiled indulgently so she could go to work in peace.
We spent a fairly quiet morning together after your mom left for work. After your first bottle of the day, prune juice, we took a two hour nap. When we awakened, I began teaching you the finer points of reading and reviewing works on fanstory. By the time you start school, you’ll likely have your own moniker.
Around 12:30 p.m., I changed you for our outing. Your mom had picked out what she wanted you to wear and had it laid out on your crib for me. I carefully secured you in the car seat, just as instructed, and out the door we went. Where were these cool car seats that just snap into the bases which remain in the vehicle permanently when your mom was your age? I hadn’t driven a hundred yards before you were sleeping soundly. I used to drive your mom around when she couldn’t sleep. It always worked. It wasn’t the objective today, however.
We went to Walgreen’s for me to drop off a prescription. Then it was off to the courthouse where I was to have a meeting at 2 p.m. When I asked your mom if you could attend with me, she asked: “Will they run her through the metal detector while she’s in the car seat?”
After I picked myself off the floor from laughing hysterically, I replied, “Somehow, I doubt it. I suspect they will just check around her to make sure I didn’t hide any weapons under her.”
Your mom can be so silly sometimes. I believe she gets that from her father, the same place you probably got your red hair.
“That’s a shame, Mom. Lexi would likely sleep through the meeting after the ride if they didn’t have to wake her up to search her.”
I circled the block by the courthouse in the unlikely event there would be a parking space in front. No such luck so I drove to the parking lot behind the building. This necessitated a nice walk if one didn’t have to carry a diaper bag plus a car seat complete with a ten pound five ounce baby in it. There were two empty, back-to-back, parking spaces by the time we got to the front door of the courthouse, too. You will learn soon enough no good deed goes unpunished.
As I entered, one of the deputies grinned at you as he commented, “She’s the youngest person I’ve searched today.”
You were sleeping peacefully and did not take kindly to being disturbed. At eight weeks old, you already have the dreaded “eye” according to the second deputy. At least you didn’t cry.
We entered the Commonwealth Attorney’s Office a few minutes early for the meeting, or so I thought.
“Hi, Janice,” called out the Victim Witness Coordinator. “What brings you here this afternoon?”
“The SART meeting.”
“You mean the one that was at 10 this morning?”
I swear you smiled when she said that. People came out of their offices to oooh and ahhh over you even as they laughed at me for messing up my times. I guess I could blame it on not having my Adderral all week. Reality is I just noted the time wrong in my Palm Pilot. It happens.
Lexi, there was a time your Granny Jan would have gotten extremely upset about making a mistake like this. What I’ve learned over the years is mistakes happen—if no one died, is permanently scarred, and there’s nothing that can be done to correct the situation, you need to forgive yourself and move on with life. Hopefully, I can help you understand that a lot sooner in life than I did.
The next time we go to the courthouse for a meeting, perhaps they will help me search for my memory and let you sleep.
Love forever,
Nanny Jan
| Author Notes | I completed my first week of babysitting Lexi on Friday and managed not to get fired. I try not to get aggravated when Cindy starts telling me how to take care of Lexi as if I've never raised a child. In fact, when Cindy catches herself and apologizes, I remind her it is her duty to say whatever she feels the need to say as Lexi's mom and #1 spokesperson. SART (Sexual Assault Response Team) |
By Rdfrdmom2
pure as you can be
evidence of innocence
smiling as you sleep
tomorrow
exactly two months
how time flies
spending time with you
provides quiet time needed
to hear God’s still voice
He shows us the way
to appreciate each day
because we are His
our time together
treasures to remember
Divine Plan comes true
people say
blessing for parents
Nanny Jan
don’t they understand
the blessings belong to me
you renew my soul
you make me better
in every way that counts
my inspiration
jbh
3-22-09
| Author Notes | People keep commenting to me how lucky Cindy, David, and Lexi are that I'm babysitting for her. What none of them seem to understand is how she has pulled me out of a major funk, taken my writing to a new level, and has renewed my soul in ways that only Jesus would understand. Thanks for reading. A special thank you to Carolisa for allowing me to use her work so often. She and all the artists are so kind to let us use their works to enhance our writings. |
By Rdfrdmom2
Dear Lexi:
April has always been a month of celebrations for our family as it is full of birthdays and anniversaries. Birthdays include your Uncle Randolph’s on the 1st (yes, he really is an April Fool); Aunt Linda Ward’s on the 5th; Granddaddy Aubrey’s on the 21st; and Great-Grandma Brown’s on the 22nd. Your Great-Grandparent’s Brown’s wedding anniversary was on the 27th. Unfortunately, the anniversary of your Grandmother Tania’s death is the 12th which falls on Easter this year. She died in her sleep last year as a result of a massive heart attack at the age of 43.
It seemed fitting for your parents to select an April date, the 5th, to dedicate themselves to raising you in a Christian home. Some would refer to this as the day of your christening.
You looked so angelic in the white outfit provided for you by my best friend and her daughter at one of your baby showers. You also wore a bonnet which can be transformed into a wedding hankie on your wedding day as the something old. Your white booties with lace ties which insisted on coming untied every few seconds just about drove your mom nuts before the service ever began. No one else seemed to think it was that big a deal. You’ll learn one day that’s the difference between being a spectator and the mommy.
You were perfect during your part of the service. You woke up just in time to move into the minister’s arms. You stared straight into his eyes as if you understood every word he said to your parents and to the congregation. You even raised a knowing eyebrow when he asked if we all promised to do our part to help you lead a Christian life throughout your childhood. I can already hear you calling one of us on the carpet the first time we mess up.
You were also quiet for the remainder of the service. I provided you a bottle of milk during the sermon to help ensure your cooperation. In return, you gave us a stinky diaper, the kind which did not allow one to remain in the pew lest the p-u’s would begin in earnest. Your mom took you out to freshen things up, planning to return to thank everyone for coming in support of your service. You, however, had other plans. Just as your mom was making the exchange of diapers, the Lexi Floodgates were opened. Mom, Lexi, diaper, sofa, clothes, and most anything else which had previously been dry was now soaked. It’s amazing to me how four ounces of milk can be processed into so much urine. That could be a good science fair topic for you one day, sweetie.
Your dad was summoned out of the sanctuary. I must admit to chuckling as I instinctively knew what must have happened. Unfortunately, church ended before your family could return to the sanctuary. Some of your guests left before your mom could thank them which caused her concern as she was afraid they would believe she was rude. I reminded her they could have waited for her just as some members of the church had done so they could fawn over you.
Later in the day, your mom and I were reviewing your special day. She became a little teary-eyed because she had so wanted the day to be perfect for you. She stated she should have known things weren’t going to go well when your dad locked all of you out of the house before church. I didn’t see the problem since they had car keys and could still get to church on time. Besides, everyone was properly dressed and they had your diaper bag.
I reminded Cindy the dedication ceremony itself was beautiful; you were perfectly behaved; and more people than we could have imagined came in support of the family. So what if some people left before Cindy could tell those folks thanks for coming?
Lexi, you’re going to learn your mom wants everything in your life, especially special events, to be perfect. I reminded her, and will have to continue reminding her, all good parents desire the same for their children; however, it is not a realistic expectation. I think she knows that in her head but it’s going to take her mom’s heart a while to accept it. She will one day learn to strive for perfect while knowing pretty doggone good is what she’s likely to get.
As Nanny Jan, I’m so much wiser as a mom than I was the first time around. By the time I realized I would never be the perfect mom, and, in fact, could be a much better mom once I accepted that, your mom was in college. I’m hoping to help her understand all she can do is her very best long before that day comes.
The longer your mom, Cindy, is a mom, the better she will understand decisions and/or mistakes I made as her mother. She will learn there’s no part of life that will ever be perfect but there are pieces of it which are pretty spectacular. Better yet, she will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that even the worst days of her life will have been made better just because you were a part of it.
Simply speaking, everything goes better with Lexi!
Love Always,
Nanny Jan
| Author Notes | A special thanks to VisionaryPoet777 for the use of his artwork. |
By Rdfrdmom2
drinking mommy’s milk
while grasping nanny’s fingers
double connections
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
daily special gifts
showing my love for nanny
exquisite milk baths
| Author Notes |
I have been working on the first one for several weeks now to get it just as I wanted it. My daughter was leaving a bottle of her breast milk for Lexi when she first returned to work. Lexi seemed to perk up when she received that milk as opposed to the formulaic brand. She would grab a finger on each of my hands and hold tight the entire time she was drinking as opposed to just holding on to one hand when she drinks formula. I always tool it as her wanting to send a special message.
The second one came to me today, quite literally, in the form of numerous "milk baths, ala Lexi's refluc which has caused a fair amount of expungement of milk at the most unexpected times. Since milk baths are supposed to be luxuries, I choose to accept these as love gifts from her. |
By Rdfrdmom2
lying on my chest
fingers tickling my throat
naptime is special
to help dry your tears
walking carpet floors for you
new spin on old tune
when you smile at me
what is it that you see
or are you happy just to be
secure here in my arms
then you laugh at me while I
ensure that you are dry
and give a contented sigh
I’m enchanted by your charms
the times when I’m with you
is there nothing you will do
which will not seem brand new
as we continue this journey
some day your mom will see
the best gift she’s given me
is trusting her dear Lexi
after surviving growing up with me
my mom and she were tight
and I often stare into the night
thinking about all that’s surely right
for us to continue the tradition
so I will promise this
on every hug and kiss
there’s little we will miss
as we carve out our rendition
of
grandmas and granddaughters
jbh
4-22-09
4-30-09
| Author Notes | The original title of this was going to be "A Typical Day With You"; however, when I got to the end of the verse which begins "One day your mom will see..." which had originally been the last verse of this piece, my fingers overtook the computer and tapped out the two verses which are indeed a tribute to the extraordinarily special relationship my daughter, Cindy, had with my mom. Maybe it is kismet, but my bedroom is now what used to be my mom's bedroom when Cindy was a baby and Lexi's nursery is what was Cindy's nursery. None of us could have projected that years ago as I certainly had hoped my mom would have still been around to witness Lexi's birth. The two dates under my initials are to indicate the writing times--the first date would have been my mom's 82nd birthday had she survived. Thank you for indulging this nanny. |
By Rdfrdmom2
secure in my arms
both hands grasping my left thumb
tornado warning
as we sit and wait
your eyes never leave the screen
gusty winds, hail storms
quietly you sit
already understanding
this is safe harbor
outside, severe storms
thunder, lightning, turbulence
potential hazards
inside, nanny’s warmth
happy hearts, shining eyes, peace
protected by love
jbh
4-7-09
| Author Notes | This was the first day I ever noticed Lexi pay any attention to the television for any amount of time. I believe it was the very bright colors of the weather maps as they showed the storm cells over and over which caught her attention. I wrote this after watching her reaction. She was only 10 weeks old at the time. |
By Rdfrdmom2
you found little toes
just where your fingers can reach
irresistible
irresistible
watching you uncover feet
to get to those toes
to get to those toes
socks just have to be removed
New skill for Lexi
new skill for Lexi
leading to delicacy
filet of young toes
filet of young toes
in lieu of fingers and thumbs
ahhh, variety
jbh
5-30-09
| Author Notes | Watching Lexi work so dilegently to take her socks off with her hands so she could try to get her foot into her mouth today was just too much fun. Before today, she just worked her socks off by using the friction of whatever her feet were against. She was definitely a four-month-old with a mission today. I have a rare Saturday with her because her parents are chaperoning a group of middle school students on a field trip to Busch Gardens. I definitely got the best part of this deal. |
By Rdfrdmom2
putting on your socks
takes up most of nanny’s day
new wellness program
wii program says hi
you laugh as I exercise
your idea of we
my idea of we
is feeding you while I rest
reward for workout
bottle is empty
on my shoulder for burping
then time to snuggle
cheek against my cheek
tiny arms around my neck
this could be heaven
jbh
5-28-09
| Author Notes | Lexi seems to take great pleasure in watching the gyrations I make as I stretch, hula hoop, try to do the tilt board, play soccer, ski, bowl, etc. while on my daughter's Wii. My doctor was concerned I was no longer attending Curves since I started keeping Lexi and strongly suggested I find some type of exercises to do. Obviously, it has been a long time since her children have been infants. Either way, I've lost a few pounds and it appears to be great entertainment for Lexi so what can I say? Besides, the payoff at the end is just heavenly. |
By Rdfrdmom2
spending time with you
coloring my world, each hue
ultimate rainbow
jbh
9-3-09
By Rdfrdmom2
temper flares
face matches red hair
flaming hot
watch yourself
bottom may soon match
sad threesome
jbh
9-15-09
| Author Notes | Lexi is testing the limits. Thanks to blondencrazee for the picture. thanks for reading |
By Rdfrdmom2
welcome smiles
make mornings worthwhile
inspire me
hazel eyes
noticing everything
site magnet
vocal chords
meeting sound’s upper limits
memorex
tiny hands
touching everything in reach
litmus tests
little legs
scampering away
fast tracking
toes in mouth
not even a stretch
must be nice
jbh
9-15-09
| Author Notes |
thanks to journeytoforever for the wonderful picture
thanks for reading |
By Rdfrdmom2
Dear Lexi:
Recently you, your mom and I had a girls’ weekend in Roanoke, Virginia when we attended an Extraordinary Women’s Conference with approximately ten thousand other women of all ages. It is safe to say you were one of the youngest in attendance.
Friday night found you enthralled with the giant projection screens used to share the words of the praise music and to ensure everyone could get a closer look at the speakers and performers. The plethora of colors kept your attention glued to the sights and sounds of the moment. You always seemed to grasp the most appropriate time to give a “shriek of praise” which was received with appreciative laughs and grins by those around us. You particularly liked Natalie Grant’s concert, but what’s not to like about her music?
When we returned to the hotel, you were more interested in playing than sleeping after your bath. After you had exasperated your mom, I took you out of the Pac-n-Play, walked you around the hotel room, and sat with you cuddled on my shoulder until you fell asleep. I then ever so gently placed you back in the Pac-n-Play, feeling so smug and sure your mom and I would then get a good night’s sleep. Silly me! I had no more taken the three quick steps to my side of the bed before you had awakened, scrambled to the netting facing the bed, and made your presence known. Two attempts later, including a thirty minute nap together in the most uncomfortable hotel chair known to man, you gave in and decided to sleep in your designated area.
Saturday brought you two opportunities to minister to other babies attending the conference. While you are too young to appreciate it now, it is my wish you will come to understand one is never too young or old to be used by God to assist others.
The first situation involved a most embarrassed mom approaching your mom because she had picked up the wrong bag when she left her hotel that morning. Unfortunately, she did not realize it until her baby needed changing and she had no diapers. Fortunately, your mom had packed lots of extra diapers “just in case” although she had no way of knowing the need would be by someone else’s child. Your mom was pleased to be able to help another mom in need.
The second situation involved a middle-aged lady stopping by your stroller to comment on your sweet demeanor and beautiful red hair. Although the combination often makes you stand out in a crowd, I intuitively knew she had more she wished to convey to us. Sure enough, she began sharing with your mom and me about a young mother she and her daughter had just met during lunch break. The woman was most concerned about the baby of this young mother as the Conference Center was cold and drafty that day and the child was dressed only in a short-sleeved onesie. She further expressed concern the mother had placed the baby on the dirty conference floor while she ate, without benefit of a jacket or blanket. Even more troubling, she had left the baby with these women, unknown to her before this day, while she went to the Exhibit Hall.
It was obvious this woman was seeking assistance on behalf of this young mother and her baby. She offered to purchase any extra clothes we might have to provide this unidentified child warmth. I had brought a new velour blanket I had been awarded by the American Cancer Society during a Relay for Life fundraising event just in case you got cold. It had been a last minute addition as I had received an email saying the Conference Center may be cooler than usual for this event. You had not needed it because your mom had anticipated all types of temperatures for you. We gave the lady the blanket and asked her to share it with her new friend. She wanted to purchase it but we told her we were more than happy to assist.
Later that day, I happened to see the young woman with her young baby swaddled in that new, blue, American Cancer Society blanket. Her dress answered many questions for me which your mom and I later discussed. Your mom and I surmised the following were likely true:
A. The mom lived in a sheltered environment where one could reasonably expect to leave one’s child with any other member of the community without fear of harm to said child;
B. It was the first time this mother had ever traveled outside her community and may not have known how to prepare properly;
C. Your mom and I had both painted this woman as a bad mother when, in reality, she was probably a good mother out of her element.
Lexi, I have already registered the three of us for next year’s Extraordinary Women’s Conference. I do not know how God will use each of us at next year’s conference but I do know I will work harder not to jump to conclusions about people He sends my way. I also look forward to noting how He will use each of us each day between now and October 1, 2010 as we continue our journeys as three generations of extraordinary women.
Always my unconditional love,
Nanny Jan
| Author Notes | Sometimes we learn more from the "side bars" than we do from the conference speakers. A special thanks to helvi2 for the artwork. This will be added to the book, Dear Lexi. Thank you for reading. |
By Rdfrdmom2
I love you in the morning
I love you late at night
I love you when I’m looking good
and when I look a fright
I love you when you’re happy
I love you when you seem sad
I’m even going to love you when
you make a choice that’s bad
I loved you while in your mommy’s womb
during winter, summer, fall
Yet, it seems just one lifetime
may not be long enough at all
To give you all the love I have
in every conceivable way
You’ll never have to earn it
or move too far away
For your heart to not touch mine
as you’ll always have the key
Nanny Jan’s love is yours to keep
a special bond ‘twixt you and me
jbh
11-12-09
| Author Notes | thanks for reading; a special thanks to Angelheart for the special art work. |
By Rdfrdmom2
cheek to cheek
heart to heart
you lie against me
breathing softly as you sleep
conventional wisdom says
moving you to your crib
is the natural course of action
~yet~
you seem secure here
even as I am complete
in immeasurable ways
we are bonded in
irrefutable
unconditional
love
Rules can wait
until
tomorrow
| Author Notes |
Written after Lexi & I napped together this morning. Free verse; no punctuation! I had forgotten what a pain Evil Editing Eddie could be; however, it is still good to be back. Thanks for reading.
Special thanks to diannatilley for her beautiful fanart. |
By Rdfrdmom2
watching you
ensures daily joy
laughing eyes
clapping hands
seeing life anew through you
Lex-enlightenment
jbh
2-24-10
| Author Notes |
The shadorma is a six line poem of Spanish origin with a syllable count of 3/5/3/3/7/5. It has no set rhyme scheme.
The first piece I read upon returning to Fanstory was a shadorma by adewpearl. I promised to write one for my granddaughter, Lexi. I suspect I may write a few more if this one is received favorably. Thanks for reading. A special thanks to KiwiRawles for the use of "MyTree". Lexi loves to play peek-a-boo. |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Note: | Not what you may think |
holding on tight
fearful I’ll be gone
upon your awakening
finally
sleep seems welcomed
despite labored breathing
which strengthens your grip on me
no doubt
any movement
will only awaken
instead of deepening rest
but
I do not mind
you sleeping next to me
for whatever the reason
just
remember this
never fear my leaving
that is just unthinkable
even if
you ever stop
needing to hold on tight
love will be the foundation
for
good and bad days
wise and poor decisions
every moment of life
because
my legacy
granddaughter’s destiny
will be forever entwined
jbh
3-11-2010
| Author Notes |
I wrote this while holding Alexis earlier today. She was fighting going to sleep due to respiratory problems. I'd not been with her in 5 days as I had been dealing with a nasty virus myself. We went to the doctor this morning with her mom where Lexi was officially diagnosed with a sinus infection. Even 90 minutes into her nap, she is holding on very tightly.
For those who love, it should always be unconditional ~ especially as we love our children. Children should never be required to earn the love of their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, etc. We should love our children enough to protect them from evil; to discipline them firmly, fairly and consistently; embrace them properly (and often); shower them with true praise; spend quality time with them; and, by all means, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS listen to what they tell you the first time they tell you and every time thereafter. Thanks for reading. A special thanks to Lexi for being my muse. Love, Nanny Jan ***A very special thanks to jgrace for the use of CanopyofPeace to enhance this humble writer's work. |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Note: | Must be willing to say the hard things |
Dear Lexi:
As you get older, you will begin to wonder about some of the laws in this country. Hopefully, these discussions will take place prior to your ever having any dealings with the law from whichever side it may come. Of course, as your Nanny Jan, I’m hoping you only deal with legal entities from the positive side of situations, but I will address those possibilities in future letters.
Recently some middle school students I know wanted to debate me about the pros and cons of alcohol being legal. The funniest part about it was they acted as if they were the first group of pre-teens who had ever had this discussion. It was all I could do not to laugh instead of acting the part of the responsible adult. To ensure I did not quell their enthusiasm, I suggested we take an entirely different strategy which would allow them to react to my ideas as to why alcohol should be legal.
Lexi, you should have seen them sit up in their seats. Did they just really hear an adult admit to middle-school kids alcohol should continue to be legal? This might be more interesting than they had first anticipated. For sure, they were now ready to listen and take notes. Here’s how it went:
Okay. I want you to make two columns on your paper. On one side, place agree; on the other, disagree. Next, I’m going to list my reasons alcohol should be legal. Just list my reasons in the columns as to whether you agree or disagree.
The light in their eyes was just wonderful. They could barely wait for my number one reason. Number one reason? I wasn’t prepared for that! So much for changing horses midstream.
Let me remind you my number one reason may not necessarily be your number one reason so I will just toss out reasons in random order so as not to influence you unduly. Afterwards, you can discuss them with each other, your teachers, family members, especially your parents, and come to your own conclusions. Now let’s do it. My reasons alcohol should always be legal are: job security; population control; help people make new friends; continue the need for building medical facilities; …
But, but, but, Mrs. Holland...
Lexi, those kids wouldn’t even let me finish my list after they promised they would. (Please don’t be like that when you go to school!) They thought I was talking about another topic and wanted me to explain the list I had given them.
Oh, let me assure you, I’m still very much on the subject of keeping alcohol legal. Let’s examine the first reason. Ahhh, yes, job security. Do you know how many jobs are generated by the use of alcohol?
Students discussed the persons who generated the raw products, the packaging, and the alcohol itself. They went on to discuss those who delivered it to stores, restaurants and other vendors. They even included all the people who worked at those venues. I was very proud of them. They decided I could keep that reason. They were shocked, however, when I told them there were many, many more jobs generated by alcohol being legal and asked if they could think of any. After a bit, I told them I would be happy to share my ideas.
Let’s think about all the paramedics and emergency room workers who attend to those who have been involved in alcohol-related accidents. Then, there are the police officers, firemen, those who serve on the wrecker service, and all the people who make all their vehicles and tools. What about the car repair people and the new cars which have to be bought if your car is totaled? Of course, sometimes you get hurt without even getting into your car. Or maybe you just stumble into your mom’s favorite antique vase and shatter it? You better hope somebody can either fix or replace it.
By then, they were ready to move on to my second reason. I tried to make that one quick as I know how emotional middle school students can be.
We’re going to just discuss this quickly. Just think a bit about how many people die a year in alcohol-related vehicle-accidents much less adding those who die from other alcohol-related accidents. Besides that, there are likely thousands who die from alcohol-related illnesses which are not documented.
I could tell this hit home so I chose not to drive it home any harder.
Okay, Mrs. Holland, but we make friends with alcohol because it’s easier to talk over drinks, right?
Maybe in your world but what I really meant was in relation to the last point. If your friend gets killed in an alcohol-related accident, you have to make a new friend.
Mrs. Holland, just move on. We hadn’t thought about this stuff. In fact, I think we have it about the medical facilities. So, what are you saying?
I am saying it’s not whether alcohol is legal or illegal. If you wait until it is legal for you and then use good judgment, there should be no problems. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t make any important decisions while drinking. Don’t be in new situations when drinking. Don’t accept an opened drink from someone you don’t know. Most importantly, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel you have to ride with someone who has been drinking, call someone else for a ride home (preferably your parents or someone you can trust). If you ever decide to drink, under NO circumstances are you to drive. Trust me. Any parent would rather pick you up alive and take you home because you were smart enough not to get behind the wheel than have a State Trooper ring their door bell to have them pick up your remains at the morgue.
Lexi, it was one of the best discussions I’ve ever had with a group of students. I hope we will have it one day, too. If not, at least you will know how your Nanny Jan feels about this issue.
| Author Notes | This will be added to Lexi's book after the contest. thanks for reading. |
By Rdfrdmom2
Though smiling at your steps today
twill be too soon you'll walk away
to put your talents on display
Though smiling at your steps today
while home or strolling by the bay
in sunny times and days of gray
Though smiling at your steps today
twill be too soon you'll walk away
jbh
2-1-10
| Author Notes | I have been wanting to write a triolet for Lexi for a long time. I wrote this shortly after she began walking which was shortly after her 1st birthday. One day, it struck me how fast my daughter, Cindy, had become 28, and a mother in her own right. That was the impetus for this attempt at a triolet. A special thanks to ccinchio for this wonderful picture, "Only That Summer". |
By Rdfrdmom2
come closer, child, so you might see
universal dimensions of empathy
laying upon our hearts’ responsibility
for healing our world's infirmities
come closer, child, so you might know
the peace of a brook, the caw of a crow
adding to the scenery of life below
the Sacred Spirit you must come to know
come closer, child, so you might glean
understandings of sights unseen
learn the importance of living clean
and so much more there in between
come closer, child, so you might rest
before you set out on your quest
to protect those others may molest
for you are equal to this test
come closer, child, so you might know
sins are still dirty when covered by snow
don't allow the world to make them grow
into habits you wish not to sow
come closer, child, so you will see
in my eyes, you will always be
a source of love and purity
as well as an integral part of me
jbh
8-3-10
| Author Notes |
this will be moved to my book, Dear Lexi, to serve as a lullaby for my granddaughter, Alexis (Lexi)
thanks for Touching The Future by VMarguarite The Mirror: by Sacred Heart Love tears at a silent heart with powerful images that can't be denied Within a distant mirror that beckons come closer... closer still I need you standing there in the light of the world's infirmities Let your eyes open child to the needs of others Where actions have a universal dimension and forgiveness heals Where empathy gives us a sense of responsibility for people the environment the earth a new generation Where love stirs into action through heart a sense of virtue that won't be denied Come closer... this piece literally wrote itself as I reviewed Sacred Heart's The Mirror |
By Rdfrdmom2
walking, not crawling
following your mommy's lead
genetic footsteps
| Author Notes | This got "lost" in the notes section of my palm pilot. A special thanks to VMarguarite for the use of "rain walk". My granddaughter loves the outdoors so this seemed appropriate. Thanks for reading. |
By Rdfrdmom2
while you are sleeping
innocence personified
my perfect angel
jbh
9-19-10
| Author Notes | I will add this to the Dear Lexi book soon -- she is fast approaching the terrible two stage and may be a little ahead of schedule -- LOL! She is also a redhead and has the temper to prove it -- a special thanks to halliday for the use of "peaceful dreams" to enhance this piece -- thanks for reading |
By Rdfrdmom2
Dear Lexi:
For the past two years I’ve been writing letters to members of Bethlehem Church regarding spiritual lessons I’ve learned. I rarely know in advance what will be my inspiration. I stopped sending these letters out this spring after deciding I needed to look elsewhere for my spiritual needs. Recently, numerous persons shared how much they missed my letters which prompted me to write about the discernment God gave me after observing you eat birthday cake at your first birthday party. Since it centers mostly on your actions that day, I wanted to include it in your book. I hope you both enjoy reading this and gain some wisdom for life from it one day.
Dear Friends in Christ:
While I’ve long been intrigued by God’s outrageous love for each of us, my recent health crisis has brought it to the forefront of my thoughts on a daily basis. In particular, I am humbled by the knowledge Jesus would have still died on that cross even if I, Janice Brown Holland, was the only sinner who had ever lived. It is a difficult concept about which to wrap one’s mind, isn’t it, yet one each of us should consider especially since our salvation is such a personal issue. Let me share a family story to help explain.
On January 23, 2010, I had the pleasure of helping celebrate my granddaughter’s first birthday. After greeting everyone and opening her presents, it was time for the BIG Event – Lexi’s first bite of cake, ever. Sitting in the high chair with a bib declaring “First Birthday”, she looked at her individual cake ~ seemingly unsure if she was allowed to touch it. She just looked at it while we sang “Happy Birthday” to her. When Cindy removed the candle, Lexi hesitantly reached out to touch it, all the while glancing at the adults as if waiting for one of us to chastise her, listening for that word NO.
Finally, the moment we had been waiting for happened. Lexi dipped her finger in the frosting and put it in her mouth. Her eyes indicated it was worthy of another taste. This tentative dipping of her finger in the frosting and then popping into her mouth went on for several minutes – one little dip of icing at a time.
Soon, her Grandfather Devers went behind her in an effort to “assist” her by pushing both of her hands into the cake. Miss Lexi was having none of that! Lexi was going to do this thing her way. Cindy decided to demonstrate how Lexi could get more per bite. She stood beside the high chair, stuck her own finger deep in the middle of the cake and icing,, pulled it out covered with cake and icing, licked it off, and went “Yummy.” Lexi took the cue, grinned from ear to ear, and began digging in. There was no stopping her after that until the cake was almost entirely gone. Had her mom not interceded, I don’t think she would have left a single crumb.
Reflecting on this later, it dawned on me this is how we are with sin. Most of us don’t jump into wrong-doing at the deep end but often start off with smaller issues which get worse the more we get away with them. Let’s look back at Lexi’s situation to see how it plays out – in childhood and as adults:
1. Before doing something wrong, we often look around to see if anyone is
watching.
2. Rather than take ownership for our own actions, we depend on someone
else to tell us not to sin.
3. We do something we know is wrong but, if we’re not caught, we repeat it
over and over again.
4. Others can try to make us sin but no one else can truly make our choices
for us.
5. We must be careful what we do as our children friends, acquaintances, etc.
are always watching to determine if we really walk the walk we talk.
6. We should be careful who we emulate. Just because someone else does
something does not necessarily make it right.
7. Do not be afraid to intercede on someone’s behalf if you know what is
being done will create harm.
Recently I got into a debate about the sinful nature of humans. The other party tried to tell me we had no choice but to sin because we were born into a world of sin. (Sounds like an excuse to sin to me.) My response was, and remains, because of Jesus Christ, I may have been born into a sinful world, but I am not doomed to sin forever. When I do sin, I know if I truly repent, I am saved by the amazing, outrageous love, grace and mercy of our Ancient of Days. Let His beacon shine a light on your path so you may make better choices in your life.
In agape,
Janice B. Holland
Lexi, I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me at your next birthday party. You are definitely my muse.
Love always,
Nanny Jan
| Author Notes | This letter was distributed this week. at 19 months old, Lexi is not old enough to understand all that it contains, but my recent health crisis has made me aware of how important it is for me to get more things in her book while I still can. I hope you find something you can use in this mesage. Thanks to wolf6249107 for this wonderful picture. Thanks for reading. I will add this to my Dear Lexi book soon. |
By Rdfrdmom2
dancing
right foot, left foot
standing on granddad’s feet
while he and I spend time at home
dancing
| Author Notes | Due to my recent illness, Aubrey has been spending more time with our granddaughter, Lexi -- she just loves dancing with him, especially when he will allow her to stand on his feet -- a special thanks to Breathtaking Exposure for the use of A Wish Fulfilled. I will add this to the Dear Lexi book soon. thanks for reading. love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
silly
laughing out loud
dancing to the music
making faces that are downright
silly
| Author Notes | just let music hit her ears and Miss Lexi is dancing -- sometimes I just laugh out loud with her when I see the faces she makes while dancing -- I will add this to Dear Lexi soon -- a special thanks to marieanne green for the use of Joy to enhance this poem -- thanks for reading -- love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
Dear Lexi:
Last weekend, your mom and I were discussing how fast your vocabulary is growing now that you are twenty-two months old. She told me you had stunned her two days before with one of your newest words. My imagination was running wild as I waited for her to share the scenario with me.
You have the habit of throwing everything out of your bed before you settle down to sleep at night. This includes a caterpillar the length of the bed, a bear, a monkey, a dog-shaped pillow, and your blanket. Our guess is you do this to insure you have plenty of room to move around in your sleep.
After your mom gets you dressed, you normally hand her each of the aforementioned items to be put back into the bed until either your nap or bedtime. Until Thursday, December 9, 2010, that had not been an issue but on this day, you decided to say, “No,” when she asked you to hand her one of the items.
Having not heard you say that word before, your mom was just stunned speechless (lucky for you, I might add). Thinking maybe she misheard what you said, she asked again. In a tone not to be misunderstood, you once again said, “No.”
“Alexis Elaine Devers, you better pick up those things and give them to me right this minute.” Apparently, your mom’s shock had worn off.
Lucky for you, you didn’t try out the word again that morning. There was no doubt; however, you knew what it meant and how it was to be used. Now your nanny needs to explain to you it is not good for your fanny to say no to your parents when they ask you to do something. Even so, please know we will always love you unconditionally.
Love forever,
Nanny Jan
| Author Notes | I have really fallen behind in documenting some things I want to write for my granddaughter, Lexi, but wanted to share this one as the first time she told one of her parents "no". For sure, it won't be the last. A special thanks to Angelheart for the use of Best Friends Forever. |
By Rdfrdmom2
thoroughly ensconced within my soul
with your head nestled by my heart
as if you find comfort there
ever so tenderly
I kiss your forehead
and find myself
deeply in
love with
you
jbh
1-5-11
| Author Notes | After almost six months of recovery, I have been released by the myriad of doctors collected when I had pancreatitis in July and have been given permission to keep my granddaughter, Lexi, for three (3) days a week again. This morning she decided she wanted to snuggle for a long time period, a rare occurrence for this 23 month old who is normally in the zoom mode most of the day. I wrote this poem as we were connected because I did not want to miss the moment. A special thanks to Angelheart for the use of "Bubbling Over With Love" as that is how I feel every time I see Lexi. Thanks for reading. Love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
Lexi calls
Nanny, Nanny
hugging me
about my legs
shining eyes
expressing love
pure, uncompromising love
jbh
1-12-11
| Author Notes | I have become intrigued with the poetic form, the Whitney, after reading so many recently. I'm hoping to write some for Lexi. This is my first effort. A special thanks to Elaine Victoria Gray for the use of Generations Two. Thanks for reading. love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Note: | Whitney poem for Lexi |
Lexi sings
Twinkle, Twinkle
little star
how I wonduh
up above
the sky so high
music to lift heart and soul
jbh
1-13-11
| Author Notes |
This is how my granddaughter, Lexi, sings Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. No matter how tired or down I might be, just the sound of her sweet little voice lifts my heart and soul. She will be two January 23rd and is sitting next to me as I post this poem to be added to her Dear Lexi series. Wonder is intentionally spelled wonduh as it is how she says it and I wanted to be true to how she sings it now. A special thanks to Angelheart for the use of "Dancing with the Stars". Thanks for reading.
The Whitney format is 3/4/3/4/3/4/7. |
By Rdfrdmom2
Nanny, I've got a question
I want to ask you
What's so terrible
about turning two?
I received lots of clothes,
a pair of new shoes,
Some Minnie Mouse toys,
my own Leaptop*, too,
Two new board puzzles,
three books to read,
A hand-stitched sweater
for the days I need
More than just long sleeves
to cover my arms,
A Super Star microphone
to showcase my charms.
My mom even baked me
a two-layer cake
Topped with a 2 and a Minnie
knowing smiles they would make,
Then very special people
all gathered around
To sing Happy Birthday
while I made no sound
Until they were finished
then I shouted, "Yay",
Nanny, for me, turning two was
a very good day.
jbh
1-25-11
*Leaptop: Specialized computer for small children.
| Author Notes | As I was sitting with my granddaughter, Lexi, today, I had the pleasure of opening some of her birthday presents with her so she could play with them. She would hand them to me and say, "Op'n, p'ease!" She had unwrapped them Sunday on her birthday and had not had the chance to play with them. Later, this poem began rolling around in my head. I will add this to my Dear Lexi book. A special thanks to Deloralock for the use of "Is It My Birthday or Yours". Thanks for reading. Love, Jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Note: | short poem |
no stinky diaper
to open my sinuses
must get salt water
| Author Notes | This hit me today while I was changing Lexi. Sometimes it will clean out my sinuses -- LOL! Thanks for reading. love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
while sleeping
you touch my heart
when crying
you touch my soul
when laughing
you are my joy
all you do enriches me
jbh
2-23-11
| Author Notes | A Whitney Poem for my granddaughter who has been a little under the weather this week and has spent more time than usual cuddling with her nanny (not that I'm complaining, mind you) -- a special thanks to Deloralock for the use of "The Pause That Refreshes" -- I can just picture Lexi with the hose in her backyard just drinking up -- thanks for reading -- love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
you can call me
whenever you have fears
which keep you from sleep at night
you
can always trust
I will always find you
even if you have lost the way
could
you ever do
anything to cause me
to either doubt or leave you
never
for you must know
my love for you is always
purely unconditional
lose
me, no, my dear,
forgiveness is simply
a matter of the asking
my
answer will be
automatic, just as
Jesus has given me His
love
and His mercy --
no matter if you stray
I'll always be here for you
jbh
2-27-11
| Author Notes |
I am sharing this again with readers who have not known me long. This is one of the first lexibridges I ever wrote. Note that the bridges form a message of their own. Thanks for reading.
My granddaughter, Lexi, has truly entered the terrible twos with a vengeance. It is important to me that her discipline be fair, firm, and appropriate to the situation but always, always, always with her understanding my love for her but my dislike of the action being displayed. A special thanks to jgrace for the use of "Phone Home." thanks for reading. love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Note: | Written at our local Chick-Fil-A |
sitting here
delighting in the discovery
of yourself in the mirrors
making faces
dancing
checking to determine
who might be watching
then tiptoeing over
to the plate glass window
separating us from you
your opportunity to observe
two friends chatting
relaxing
making plans
for future projects
suddenly the tunnel slide beckons
you blow kisses as you dart away
new discoveries to be made
can one slide upwards
no, but one can crawl
up the exit
around the bend
until out of sight
but never out of my heart
jbh
3-15-11
| Author Notes |
My friend, Sonya, and I met at Chick-Fil-A to catch up after she returned from several weeks in D.C. We sat by the play area so Miss Lexi could play. She had the entire area to herself and just had a ball. For the first time, she discovered herself in the mirrors and was a hoot as she performed for herself, then us. I wrote this as I watched her antics. A special thanks to grandmarennie for the use of "It's About the Play". It's also about the love! Thanks for reading. Love, Jan
|
By Rdfrdmom2
May 23, 2011
Dear Lexi:
Recently I have begun bringing you to the kitchen table prior to preparing your lunch on the days we have sandwiches together. I share the name of each ingredient with you as you, without prompting, repeat it after me. If you struggle with the name, I repeat it again, carefully listening to determine if what you initially said was the result of my not saying it clearly enough the first time or if it was developmentally appropriate because, at two, certain linguistic skills have not yet been developed. But, I digress...
I then cut our sandwiches into windows (think X) and share that your mom always liked hers fixed that way. You just giggle and begin reaching for the first panel but I remind you we have to say the blessing first.
It is possibe you are too young to either hear or care how your mom liked her sandwiches when she was young. Maybe it will never matter; but, what if it does? What if she doesn't remember being two? Besides, this is your book from Nanny's viewpoint.
You have always seemed to like windows -- those things through which people can either see in to or out of to view somewhere they are not. As an infant, you seemed to be drawn to both the light and the warmth which cascaded into the window closest to the recliner where I normally rocked you. This was particularly true when your reflux problems were so severe. Your mom had a similar problem as an infant: colic. Both of you required hours upon hours of lying upon someone's stomach while that person happened to be in a recliner near a window. Ironically, you are being raised in the same home as your mom resulting in my having had the rare privilege of doing this for each of you in the same year some twenty-eight years apart.
Then came the day you saw the sweetest little face in a window just before the sun lit up the outdoors. You seemed so puzzled when "she" disappeared but you became quickly distracted by the trees swaying in the wind; the birds hunting for worms; and, Charlie, the neighborhood cat that is just slightly smaller than a Bob Cat, stalking his breakfast. Perhaps that was the day your love affair with the great outdoors began which is another trait you have in common with your mom.
This past Christmas, you were old enough to appreciate the signs of the season. You loved riding in the car after dark to view the decorations as different as those who placed them out in their yards or on their homes. I loved how the lights seemed to emanate from your very eyes as opposed to simply being reflections of the sights seen from the car windows. When your mom was young, we would ride through neighborhoods all through the holidays with someone in the car announcing, "Right. Left.", thereby ensuring no one would miss the best scenes. Although she will be thirty in September, we still enjoy doing this. You didn't quite understand the right/left thing last Christmas but I'm counting on you having it down pat by Thanksgiving this year because I'm placing you in charge of directions when we go decoration-seeing.
Currently when you ride with me, you almost come out of your car seat with excitement each time you see a school bus which you readily discern from either a transit or tour bus. I wonder if your joy emanates from knowing your Nanny, mommy, and daddy are all or have been teachers. Even your PopPop was a substitute teacher two different times in his life. Maybe you just connect those school buses to where your parents work. Sometimes I wish I could see through the windows of your seemingly always active mind but it's likely better that I cannot.
Lexi, I hope you never have to look back through any windows of your life with regret. Live life to the fullest. Be kind to everyone you meet. Always keep your eyes open for windows of opportunity but be mindful one must be well-prepared to open those windows ahead of time. Your mom has always done that. I am sure you will, too!
My love will always be part of you, my sweet girl.
Nanny Jan
| Author Notes | A very wise woman asked me recently if I had begun sharing things I used to do with Lexi's mom with Lexi as well as things about my parents with her as both of them had passed on prior to Lexi's birth. I plan to intertwine these into her book in as natural an order as possible. Thanks for reading. A special thanks to hetti for the use of "What's Behind Window Number 1?" |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Note: | Some things, we just cannot explain, but give us about which to think. |
safely cradled
in the cavity created
by my arm and ribs
you finally fall
into an uneasy sleep
sucking fingers
twirling hair
~ your trademarks ~
give way to
raspy snores
ear tugging
twitching toes
suddenly
I am utterly transfixed
as your tiny hands
come together
under your chin
~ prayer mode ~
happenstance, perchance
yet
those little lips
begin muttering words
too softly
to be deciphered
an hour passes
snoring continues
as do soft mutterings
in your prayer pose
are you and God chatting
as you are resting?
is He telling you
all is well –
the ear infection, virus,
and whatever other germs
are attacking you
are under His control?
as your fever rises
you begin smiling
arms waving about
lips moving
but no sound emanates
from your sweet mouth
arms drop into your lap
hands firmly clasped
as if in preparation
for future prayer
you’re breathing peacefully now
I find myself torn –
wake you up
to administer meds
OR
see this journey through
to its natural finish
part of me
is frightened
what phenomena is
God allowing me to witness?
What will you remember
when you awaken?
you find my hand
making one last comment
before opening those hazel eyes
flashing a dazzling smile
and transmitting unconditional love
the unconditional love
of which I have no doubt
was shared with you from above
during your nap
jbh
6-22-2011
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Homerladybella for the use of "Dear God", the closest picture I could find to share what it's like to see a small child in the prayer pose. This is a wonderful picture.
My 29-month old granddaughter, Alexis, spiked a fever of 103.9° on Sunday, June 19, 2011. We spent several hours in the local Children•¿ |
By Rdfrdmom2
stopped at McDonald's
to purchase a drink
Lexi in the back seat
so I started to think
she'd be really happy
if I bought some ice cream
so made a fairly small request
or that's the way it seemed
just wanted the cashier to put
that ice cream in a cup
so just imagine my surprise
when, next to my drink, as I drove up
sat a tall mound of vanilla
on the top end of a cone
no way was I letting Lexi
tackle that thing alone
so I shook my head no
which precipitated a plop
the bottom of that ice cream cone
had just become the top
Then Lexi began laughing
at the look upon my face
had to get us quickly home
or have ice cream ruin my space
got Lexi into her house
and buckled into her chair
she was certainly shocked to find
some ice cream sitting there
in the cone I had extracted
bottoms up from the cup
she wasn't quite sure whether to
begin from down or start from up
I leveled a bit off
which allowed her tongue to stick
with an attack from the top
lots of ice cream she could lick
next thing I knew
it was up her nose and in her eyes
the cone had become a hurdle
she thought it no real prize
I finally gave her a spoon
so as to erase her pout
and, sure as I am sitting here
she scraped all of it out
leaving that cone
alone on her plate
my Lexi girl
takes her ice cream straight
jbh
7-1-2011
| Author Notes | This is just an attempt at a fun piece for my granddaughter, Lexi, about her first experience with an ice cream cone. She was none too impressed with the cone idea, for sure, and no amount of cajoling could get her to even try it. I realized on the 7th line I had missed a rhyming line and tried to fix it which almost did me in. Now I remember why I prefer free verse. A special thanks to VMarguarite for the use of "Yummy!Yummy!" Lexi's take on ice cream is that it is "Mightyu, mighty good." Thanks for reading. I'd be appreciative of any suggestions for improvement. love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Note: | The magic of summer and grandchildren!!! |
swinging
sliding
singing
gliding
~through the air~
running
shrieking
sunning
sneaking
~off to share~
my moves
and grooves
with the kid
who just bid
~me "good day"~
jbh
8-19-11
| Author Notes | Written after we had to leave Chick-Fil-A's play area due to the rough play of "UNATTENDED" children and move to a nearby, outdoor playground instead. This is written from Lexi's viewpoint. She had a blast. A special thanks to CammyCards for the use of Time to Play. Thanks for reading. Love, Jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
Nanny and I went to the fair
we saw lots of exciting stuff there
paratroopers dropping from the air
beautiful ribbons for my hair
some kids climbing a twenty foot slide
nearby, a haunted house, they ran inside
suddenly Barney was by my side
I dashed over for a carousel ride
I got onto my favorite horse
my nanny right beside me, of course
we laughed and laughed until we were hoarse
and when day was done, we had no remorse
jbh
1 - 9 - 2012
| Author Notes | For Lexi fans, finally a picture of Lexi and me together at our local Peanut Fest -- a kind lady offered to take a picture of us while we were riding the carousel, Lexi's favorite ride. thanks for reading. love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
to tell or not tell
when a secret will reek hell
best to be quiet
jbh
1-28-2012
| Author Notes | Self-explanatory, I'm thinking. Took this picture of Lexi a couple of days before Christmas. I'm hoping she'll keep all my secrets. I plan to keep all of hers. Thanks for reading. Love, Jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
Nanny, Nanny, look up high
winter moon is in the sky
even tho' it's morning now
I wonder if he brought the cow
who likes to jump o'er him at night
or do you think t'would be a fright
to make a jump like that during day
without the stars to guide the way;
do you think the sun might think
winter moon may need a shrink ~
after all, he's out night and day
no matter what the textbooks say,
Nanny, Nanny, look up high
winter moon's in morning sky
jbh
1-15-12
| Author Notes |
When I picked up Lexi and her mom for church this morning, winter moon was in direct view as Lexi left her back door to get into my vehicle. She was sooooo excited to see the moon in the morning, yet again. Today's picture is actually the scene from the side of Lexi's car seat. The dark speck is a bird who also seemed fascinated with the winter moon.
Thanks for reading. love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Note: | A whitney to try to capture Lexi's excitement about seeing another morning moon. |
morning moon
came back today
I suppose
he came to play
can’t be sure
he did not say
morning moon came back today
jbh
1-14-2012
| Author Notes | Lexi & I went to Cindy's school today to help her get caught up with her paperwork. Lexi was so excited to see the moon out during the morning, again, which prompted this piece. A special thanks to Henri Eftevand for the use of "The Moon". If it happens again tomorrow, maybe I can take my own pictures. Thanks for reading. |
By Rdfrdmom2
winter moon
although waning
hung around
to meet the sun
unfettered by
the inevitable
comparison
between the brilliance
of the orb
rising in the east
and the subdued
presence of the one
in the west
amazingly
in spite of
the exquisite beauty
of the sun
the unexpected guest
of this fine day
the dimly lit moon
became
undeniably
the morning star
jbh
1 – 13 - 2012
| Author Notes | My granddaughter, Lexi, just could not get over seeing the moon this morning as we took my Scottish Terrier, Gwen, to the vet to be groomed. She was more drawn to that moon than she was to a brilliant sunshine even though it had rained all day yesterday. These are my thoughts after contemplating her reaction. Lexi will be three on January 23rd. A special thanks to MindsEye286 for the use of Night and Day. Love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
Come to the castle to celebrate
called King Kandy to the land
for it is an enchanted place
I’ve quite a party planned
Set off on the rainbow path
where there’ll be all types of treats
but watch out for your licorice
it will tangle up your feet
Hurry to the Ice Cream Slopes
for a thrilling snowboard ride
zig-zag ‘round the cone-shaped peaks
with your best friend by your side
Relax a bit in Gummy Hills
while riding the ole choo choo
give a gumdrop ticket to bouncy bear
he’ll conduct this trip for you
Say hello to the gingerbread kids
who are building quite a house
do not disturb them as they work
be quiet as a mouse
Listen for the lollypops
clapping softly in the breeze
led by Princess Lolly who
sings as lovely as you please
Now move along for frosty fun
where you dance with Miss Frostine
she’ll be a most stylish host
in fact, she’s quite pristine
Don’t bypass the Chocolate Mountain
where Gramma Gooey’ll be your friend
with cocoa treats and chocolate drops
that never seem to end
King Kandy’s at the drawbridge
he’s been waiting just for you
to share his enchanted treasures
and a cup of cocoa, too
jbh
2-8-2012
| Author Notes | Candy Land was Cindy's favorite game as a little girl. She could barely wait until Lexi turned 3 so she could teach her how to play. She beats me all the time and just laughs and laughs and laughs about it. A special thanks to lippi1 for the use of "candy mountain". thanks for reading -- love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
May 29, 2012
Dear Lexi:
Dancing and performing country songs for any of us willing to sit and watch you seems to be your newest method of calling attention to yourself. As a rule, however, this has to happen when the mood hits you and not so much when your mom and/or dad asks you to do it. I seem to remember your mom being the same way when she was your age, too.
We have all been referring to you as a silly, silly girl since you began this new phase. Every now and then, when I do something you find amusing, you say, "You're such a silly, silly nanny." Then we both laugh and go on with what we were doing.
Tonight, however, you took things to a higher level. Your mom called to tell me your latest shenanigans.
Apparently you were in another of your silly moods. As you kept doing things to make your parents laugh, your dad began saying you were a silly, silly, goofy, goofy girl. Of course, this just made you laugh more and do whatever you could to make mom and dad laugh, too. The more everyone laughed, the more you were told you were a
silly, silly, goofy, goofy girl.
A little later, your mom did something you thought was silly to which you stated, "Mommy, you're just a silly, silly, Donald, Donald girl." She and your dad almost wet themselves while laughing. Next, your mom became a silly, silly, Minnie, Minnie girl.
Oh, Lexi. I can tell already we are going to have to be very, very careful what we say to you or it just might come back to haunt us. It will also make life interesting as you teach us new ways to think about things. I can hardly wait!
Love you unconditionally forever,
Nanny Jan
| Author Notes | Lexi takes things quite literally. This story is just one example, perhaps the funniest so far, of how that plays out. I wanted to capture it before we all forget it. A special thanks to babybloo for the use of MinneMousee to enhance this piece. |
By Rdfrdmom2
while I was picking blueberries early this morn
with dew clinging tight to the grass
I saw movement where the bush had been torn
by a limb which fell three days past –
at first, I feared it might be a snake
for they are around here, aplenty;
as one of the limbs just started to shake
there they were, it was just about twenty
of bright little fairies dressed in all different hues
giggling when they saw my delight;
yet, they scattered away when I dared tell the news
I’d be eating blueberries all night
jbh
7-6-12
Inspired by Maureen Napier’s Huckleberry Oak
| Author Notes | Special thanks to cleo85 for the use of "Garden Fairies" to enhance this work. This is the edited version of the review I did for Maureen Napier's "Huckleberry Oak". Thanks for reading. love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Note: | This book is for Lexi to have memories of her childhood from her Nanny's perspective. |
Lexi’s first time in the gym
bouncing on a trampoline
pigtails flying in the air
like none I’ve ever seen
rolling down a thirty-foot mat
mommy brought you here for that?
Could it be those ten foot beams
just weren’t as wide as they first seemed?
Suddenly in a giant ball
as someone rolled you ‘round the hall
the tumbling slide looked like a treat
as you went down, butt over feet
on the balance beam, you hit your stride
quickly moving people from your side
and who taught you how to be coy
while you are playing with a boy?
Before I knew it, you were in the pit
afterwards, it was time to quit
I know you had a really good time
making the experience worth every dime
jbh
8-16-2012
| Author Notes | On August 16th, Cindy & I took Lexi to open gym. It was obvious she had paid more attention to the Olympics than any of us thought as she wanted to get on everything there, no matter the size. The girl had no fear. I finally sat down and just began writing what I saw. A special thanks to DianeBlack for the use of "Having fun!" which was the closest picture I could find for this piece. I hope to put in a picture of Lexi at the gym soon. Thanks for reading. Love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
When you're hanging out with me
my heart is filled with utter glee
the love we share shines in our eyes
it fills our world with so much joy
people wonder if we're the real McCoy
why can't they believe what's plain to see
you and Nanny are doing just fine
with tickles up and down our spines
I don't know why that's such a surprise
jbh
10 - 13 - 12
| Author Notes | I wrote this while Lexi was taking a nap in my bed this afternoon. She likes to call our time together our "hanging out" time. It's fine with me. A special thanks to the lady at the 2011 Peanut Fest who took this picture of us together. thanks for reading. love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
The call came at 4:05 p.m.
“Hey, honey. What’s up?”
“Have you seen the news?”
“No.”
“Where are you?”
“Sitting in your living room playing games with Lexi on Disney Junior.”
I could tell my daughter, Cindy, was trying to gather herself before she broke whatever tragic news she had to share. After expelling a long, low breath, she began:
“There’s been a shooting at an elementary school…”
I tried to focus on what she was saying but my unmedicated ADHD brain was already dreading which of our school system’s twelve elementary schools had experienced such a horrific thing. My mind sped ahead, wondering how many children and adults may have been injured – please, God, don’t let there have been any deaths.
“… 20 kindergarten children and a teacher in Connecticut. There may have been an aide shot, too.”
Lord, forgive me for being so relieved it wasn’t one of our schools. We are so blessed. Thank you so much that it was not my daughter's school.
“I didn’t hear about it until 3:05 p.m. It’s just crazy.”
“I know, honey. Can you imagine being one of the first responders to a scene like that? I don’t know how you get over seeing something like that.”
“Me, either,” Cindy sighed. “I just needed to hear Lexi’s voice.”
“I understand.”
As I held the phone for my not quite four-year-old granddaughter to talk to her mommy, I reflected on the many times I had called to check on Cindy during my educational career when tragedies occurred at any school in the world, not just in our nation. I knew all too well that deep-seated need Cindy had to connect to her only child.
Mom and daughter chatted for a few minutes, then Cindy told Lexi she would be home from work a little later on. I wanted to assure them both they would always be safe with me; however, to say that in the world in which we live would be a lie.
In 2012 alone, America has experienced shootings at the Empire State Building, at a movie theatre, at a bar, at a Sikh temple, a spa, a café, in a high school cafeteria (twice), outside a funeral home, places of employment, grocery stores, community colleges, universities, a mall and while riding on school buses. These are just the mass and school shootings.
Every day, we hear about home invasions, drive-by shootings and robberies resulting in someone being murdered. Nine people were murdered in South Chicago on the same day earlier this year. It did not qualify as a mass murder because the murders did not occur at the same site.
What do I tell them in light of this information? I tell them I love them every chance I get. I promise I will do all within my power to keep them safe. I share my faith with them. I spend as much quality time with each of them as possible. But, I cannot promise either of them I can keep them safe. Instead, tonight, with tears threatening to flood my cheeks, I hug each of them as tight as I can before I leave to go home – and I tell them I will always love them. That’s one promise I can keep.
*Godspeed to the families and staff of Sandy Hook Elementary School. The community of Newtown, Connecticut will never be the same because Adam Lanza created a new normal for everyone there on Friday, December 14, 2012.
580 words
| Author Notes | A special thanks to debbie johnson for the use of "For Sandy Elementary" to enhance this piece. Not only was today's mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School every parent's worse nightmare, it is also every educator's worse nightmare. As a former elementary principal, my heart bleeds for the entire Newtown, Connecticut community. Thank you for reading. |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Note: | Grandchildren cure a world of hurts. |
keeping you
is saving my life
forgetting
about pain
as we play games on the floor
our fantasy world
jbh
3-1-10
| Author Notes | Sometimes when my osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia are in high gear at the same time, it is all I can do to get out of bed, much less find the initiative to do anything else. However, keeping and playing with Lexi requires me to focus on how much fun it is to be with her as she learns new things and grows that I no longer focus on how poorly I feel. In many ways, she has saved my life. A special thanks to VMarguarite for the use of "Hand in Hand" -- thanks for reading. love, jan (This will be added to the book, Dear Lexi, soon) |
By Rdfrdmom2
birthday party joys
gymnastics, presents and friends
life is really good
| Author Notes | A special thanks to photobeat for the use of "Happy birthday". Thanks for reading. Love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
playing Barbies on the floor
with the child that I adore
“little people” all around
but they barely make a sound
one girl has a dog and cat
then comes Piggy in a hat
next are twins with bell and book
best friends from a trip they took
red head wants to play in snow
but her outfit makes her slow
little blond girl has a bird
king is waiting to be heard
early morning rendezvous
as your nanny plays with you
jbh
2-21-13
| Author Notes | thanks for reading. love, jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Notes | Just a bit more about my Alexis |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Notes | Sometimes Alexis will be quietly engaged in something, then all of a sudden she will explode into action - taking on a whole different persona, almost, and we just sit back and enjoy the show. A special thanks to C. Devers for this picture of Alexis. |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Notes | Alexis is in the "invent" mode but all material has to be things that are about to be discarded. We are constantly amazed what she has to say about her invention when she is done. Thanks for reading. Jan |
By Rdfrdmom2
| Author Notes | Lexi prefers playground equipment that poses a challenge, but sometimes she gets in over her head. The reason she could not depend on my help was that I was in an air cast after having extensive foot surgery. I took this picture of her during one of her rare still moments. Thanks for reading. |
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