Panpipes
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Panpipes - Chapter 3"A Novella
28 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Not a good foreshadowing for Somchai, possibly signalling a cautionary tale about to unfold: "He was sure that Somchai could not have come by it legally." There is a lot of dishonesty going on here. I like how you preface incidents with: "things were not going well for..." The plot thickens
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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Not a good foreshadowing for Somchai, possibly signalling a cautionary tale about to unfold: "He was sure that Somchai could not have come by it legally." There is a lot of dishonesty going on here. I like how you preface incidents with: "things were not going well for..." The plot thickens
Comment Written 18-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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Thanks for digging back into my portfolio for this one, Liz. Appreciated. Chapters 4 & 5 still have certificates active on them.
Somchai was selling the necklace for Ayesha as all her money was in the hotel where her husband had been reported dead. Of course, he couldn't tell the jeweller that as she was in hiding from the police. As you say, the plot thickens!
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***Grin***
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written. (seemed long, but good)
I read chapters three and four in the wrong order, but I managed. (smiley face here)
I'm a bit surprised that Ayesha agreed to go to the fights.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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Well written. (seemed long, but good)
I read chapters three and four in the wrong order, but I managed. (smiley face here)
I'm a bit surprised that Ayesha agreed to go to the fights.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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Thanks very much for your review and comments, Wayne. I'm not sure if Bapit's brother and the kickboxing add anything to the story. I may end up cutting them.
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It got Ayesha some $$
Comment from BethShelby
I'm enjoying the story and hoping that Bapet doesn't get recognized and that his brother wins the fight. I am for rooting for Ayesha because I have no sympathy for her abusive huaband.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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I'm enjoying the story and hoping that Bapet doesn't get recognized and that his brother wins the fight. I am for rooting for Ayesha because I have no sympathy for her abusive huaband.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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Thanks for your continued engagement with this, Beth. Appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Sanku
So Bapit escaped from the eagle eyes of the police. The pair may prove to be smarter than the police.What Ayesha is planning is difficult to guess..I am waiting to know the results of Klahan's fight
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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So Bapit escaped from the eagle eyes of the police. The pair may prove to be smarter than the police.What Ayesha is planning is difficult to guess..I am waiting to know the results of Klahan's fight
Comment Written 15-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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Thanks for your continued engagement with this, Sanku. Appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Why is pan pipes in paragraph one 2 words and in paragraph two 1 word? Should it not be 1 word in both places?
"dancing water sprites gurgling with spiteful laughter." Like that line. Paints a clear picture.
Definately a blood sport.
Seems she has a chance, with all the assistance she is receiving, to elude the police...at least temporarily.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Why is pan pipes in paragraph one 2 words and in paragraph two 1 word? Should it not be 1 word in both places?
"dancing water sprites gurgling with spiteful laughter." Like that line. Paints a clear picture.
Definately a blood sport.
Seems she has a chance, with all the assistance she is receiving, to elude the police...at least temporarily.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Thanks for pointing out that basic error, Brett. It's been running through all the chapters so far without anyone noticing. I've now changed it to panpipes throughout.
Comment from Sally Law
This is wonderful, and so well written, my friend. Your summary caught me up in no time. Good to see your writing. A pleasure to read you.
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for the holidays,
Sal Xos
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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This is wonderful, and so well written, my friend. Your summary caught me up in no time. Good to see your writing. A pleasure to read you.
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for the holidays,
Sal Xos
Comment Written 14-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Very many thanks for your kind words, Sal, and for the sixth star. Both greatly appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
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My pleasure as always. So good to read you. Blessings,
Sal :))
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Tony, this story is getting more and more intriguing by the minute. Now, will the police catch up with them, and what about the bet.
It's my guess against anyone's. I'm looking forward to the continuation. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Wow, Tony, this story is getting more and more intriguing by the minute. Now, will the police catch up with them, and what about the bet.
It's my guess against anyone's. I'm looking forward to the continuation. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 14-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Very many thanks for your kind words, Ulla. Greatly appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Wy Jung
You certainly have a knack for this. I'm so intrigued.
And THIS! ......
the road became a seething mass of dancing water sprites, gurgling with spiteful laughter. They gushed out of gutters and leapt upon a cavalcade of wild water horses charging down towards the sea. They stung with tiny swords all who dared stand in their way.
Wow. That description is so well worded. I had to slow down and listen to each word as I read it to see the scene. So vivid.
Masterfully done. I'm already rooting for her to win the money from that greasy scoundrel.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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You certainly have a knack for this. I'm so intrigued.
And THIS! ......
the road became a seething mass of dancing water sprites, gurgling with spiteful laughter. They gushed out of gutters and leapt upon a cavalcade of wild water horses charging down towards the sea. They stung with tiny swords all who dared stand in their way.
Wow. That description is so well worded. I had to slow down and listen to each word as I read it to see the scene. So vivid.
Masterfully done. I'm already rooting for her to win the money from that greasy scoundrel.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Very many thanks for your kind words, Wy. Greatly appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from LJbutterfly
Once I accepted there would be names, clothing, money and surroundings I was unfamiliar with, I relaxed and enjoyed the story. I watched the old movie "The King and I," at least 10, or more times, and participated in a high school musical production, requiring me to learn the words to all of the music. As your know, the story took place in Siam, later called Thailand, making this story easy to visualize. You've packed the story with lots of mystery and suspense, which I hope to follow from here on.
Thanks for the larger font. I will see you in the next chapter.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Once I accepted there would be names, clothing, money and surroundings I was unfamiliar with, I relaxed and enjoyed the story. I watched the old movie "The King and I," at least 10, or more times, and participated in a high school musical production, requiring me to learn the words to all of the music. As your know, the story took place in Siam, later called Thailand, making this story easy to visualize. You've packed the story with lots of mystery and suspense, which I hope to follow from here on.
Thanks for the larger font. I will see you in the next chapter.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Very many thanks for your kind words and anecdote about The King and I. What a splendid movie that was! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! Ayesha is definitely impulsive and not keeping to her disguise well if she takes on that man's bet in public like that. I guess they must all be speaking English otherwise, she wouldn't have known what was being said or she speaks the local language.
It sounds scary as the police is likely to catch Bapit and Ayesha at the fight. But this could lead to a story about a runaway tourist, Bapit, and his elephant friend all on an adventure!
The blushing comment made me research as even though I have fair Asian skin, I cannot remember ever been noticed blushing.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Oh no! Ayesha is definitely impulsive and not keeping to her disguise well if she takes on that man's bet in public like that. I guess they must all be speaking English otherwise, she wouldn't have known what was being said or she speaks the local language.
It sounds scary as the police is likely to catch Bapit and Ayesha at the fight. But this could lead to a story about a runaway tourist, Bapit, and his elephant friend all on an adventure!
The blushing comment made me research as even though I have fair Asian skin, I cannot remember ever been noticed blushing.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023
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Very many thanks for your kind words and comments, Helen . Greatly appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
