The Unwilling Heir
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 15"A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders
15 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, I bet you have fun writing this story as I have fun reading. I'm now catching up after having too much much fun writing some other stuff. Now I will be back to this, and my own book.
You're handling this story so very well. I love it. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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Hi Carol, I bet you have fun writing this story as I have fun reading. I'm now catching up after having too much much fun writing some other stuff. Now I will be back to this, and my own book.
You're handling this story so very well. I love it. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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Thanks Ulla. I can't write it as fast as some of the other stories because it's difficult for me to figure out how those darn ghosts will react at times. I am thrilled that you are enjoying it. You aren't too far behind. Only 16 and 17 so that's good. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
You've gotta like this with a completely different approach to writing this story, and a completely different approach to writing and including the key people of the past who are still being part of this intricate plot. Beautifully written Carol, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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You've gotta like this with a completely different approach to writing this story, and a completely different approach to writing and including the key people of the past who are still being part of this intricate plot. Beautifully written Carol, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-May-2024
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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My mind keeps swirling around as if I am in a cyclone. I have no idea what evil spirits would think and do so I base them on humans and hope I get it right. It's a bubbling pot for sure. Thanks for continuing to follow the story....
Smiles, Carol
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I think that?s the only way one can?t think of them Carol.
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Thanks for always encouraging me, Roy! I truly appreciate it. Whether it's your poems or reviews, I always gain a brighter outlook for the day.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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My pleasure Carol.
Comment from Julie Helms
Great descriptions and great character development throughout. You've made Madeline a sympathetic figure but given us Victoria to despise!
One issue:
as if the mansion was holding its breath
(Subjunctive -- as if the mansion were...)
Beautifully done!
Julie
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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Great descriptions and great character development throughout. You've made Madeline a sympathetic figure but given us Victoria to despise!
One issue:
as if the mansion was holding its breath
(Subjunctive -- as if the mansion were...)
Beautifully done!
Julie
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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Good morning, Julie.... Thanks for your thoughtfulness and for enjoying the chapter. My mind is swirling with ideas of how to proceed from here. Does Madeline return to her scrappy self and join forces with Victoria or will Victoria use her ghostly powers to eliminate Madeline from the hunt?
Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Your skilful prose and imagery, Carol, make this a feast of haunting delight and I feel for poor Madeleine who's clearly been very traumatised by Victoria's vicious threats and chilling presence. With war to follow, who can resist reading on? An excellent horror story! Thanks for sharing, Debbie
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Your skilful prose and imagery, Carol, make this a feast of haunting delight and I feel for poor Madeleine who's clearly been very traumatised by Victoria's vicious threats and chilling presence. With war to follow, who can resist reading on? An excellent horror story! Thanks for sharing, Debbie
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Hi, Debbi...I am thrilled that you are enjoying the ghost story and everything that is unfolding. I'm never sure where we will end up next, but I'm sure it will be chilling. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
This band of ghosts all have very distinct personalities, and probably, even more motives than what we've already seen written about before. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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This band of ghosts all have very distinct personalities, and probably, even more motives than what we've already seen written about before. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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I have no idea where this is headed but I;m sure it will be a surprise to both you and me. LOL What can I say! The ghosts are in charge...a tug of war between camps.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
The things that make your story so engaging is your vivid descriptions like "eyes glowed like embers in a fireplace." You make it easy to envision the ghostly scene. You also include realistic dialogue that helps the reader understand the personality of the characters. By the way, I like Lorrie. She's a busy-body who keeps things under control.
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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The things that make your story so engaging is your vivid descriptions like "eyes glowed like embers in a fireplace." You make it easy to envision the ghostly scene. You also include realistic dialogue that helps the reader understand the personality of the characters. By the way, I like Lorrie. She's a busy-body who keeps things under control.
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Thanks so much. I worried that my fireplace thought might have gone over he line, but I was imaging that bright color mixed with the darkness. I hoped that you would like Lorrie...she's got some power behind her that stays hidden until she needs it. Victoria should look out.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from prettybluebirds
I'm still enthralled with your story. You do a marvelous job writing the dialogue and descriptions that I feel like I'm there. Keep writing, and I will keep reading.
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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I'm still enthralled with your story. You do a marvelous job writing the dialogue and descriptions that I feel like I'm there. Keep writing, and I will keep reading.
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Thanks so much April. I appreciate your encouragement and the fact that your are enjoying something I struggle to write. You add whipping cream to my dessert.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Victoria sounds like she is bitter and vindictive and her claws will be out for both Madeline and Sandra. I am axed hoe you visualise all this in your head and don't lose track of where you are going both with regard to the treasure and the relationships between the characters. Well done!
Wendy
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Victoria sounds like she is bitter and vindictive and her claws will be out for both Madeline and Sandra. I am axed hoe you visualise all this in your head and don't lose track of where you are going both with regard to the treasure and the relationships between the characters. Well done!
Wendy
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Honestly, until I sit at the computer ready to write, I never know how my characters will develop. I never intended Madeline to get a "nice" side, but when I began writing, it seemed to be the thing to do. Now, whether she will stay that way is up for grabs. And Victoria... ghost or not, she is jeopardizing her place in the hereafter.... Oops!
Smiles and thank you for the review. Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Seems like weapons have been drawn as far as Victoria is concerned. She is worried about Madeline, but isn't Sandra the real problem where she is concerned? One question in paragraph 1: If she hit the wall with her hairbrush, what mirror broke?
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Seems like weapons have been drawn as far as Victoria is concerned. She is worried about Madeline, but isn't Sandra the real problem where she is concerned? One question in paragraph 1: If she hit the wall with her hairbrush, what mirror broke?
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Right now, Victoria is focused on Madeline because of her lost rank, but I am sure she will see Sandra as a threat as well. As for the mirror, my thought was that it fell off the wall but maybe I should rethink that. A simple change! Thanks so much as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Oh, Carol. You've hit your stride and never let up with this story! Just as I was reeling from Madeline's rehabilitation in the last chapter, I now see Victoria has a mean streak befitting a ghoulish kind of ghost! You've got yourself a mansion-full of "spirited" individuals! (See what I did there, lol?)
I love your little injections of sarcastic humor:
"He stroked his long white beard before speaking. "Too bad you can't bottle that hot air. It wouldn't cost so much to heat this monstrosity of a house."
Heck, I'm all in. See you next chapter!
Karenina
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Oh, Carol. You've hit your stride and never let up with this story! Just as I was reeling from Madeline's rehabilitation in the last chapter, I now see Victoria has a mean streak befitting a ghoulish kind of ghost! You've got yourself a mansion-full of "spirited" individuals! (See what I did there, lol?)
I love your little injections of sarcastic humor:
"He stroked his long white beard before speaking. "Too bad you can't bottle that hot air. It wouldn't cost so much to heat this monstrosity of a house."
Heck, I'm all in. See you next chapter!
Karenina
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Hello, sweet friend,
I like toying with the reader's thoughts and emotions regarding the characters.... because until I write the chapter I never know myself whether they will remain good or bad. Currently, Victoria is at the top of my list, but one never knows. Maybe the treasure, if found, will be too much for Madeline. Can you see the two women tugging a rare painting, and it suddenly breaks in half because it's so old. LOL And William has lived with Victoria for hundreds of years so he knows exactly how to bait her. Should be a fun ride.
Smiles, Carol
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It is a fun ride! (Especially since I can enjoy it from afar!)
